Falling for Ty and Zach

Merry Christmas 2011! This year FLEW by!

2011-12-15T12:18:00.000-06:00

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Surviving the Real World

2011-02-05T20:31:00.003-06:00

It's Saturday and I just got back from helping my husband move personal things out of his office. This week he lost his job. He did NOT lose his paycheck. But everything he has worked for and done for almost the last 8 years has been taken away. They moved him out to Oregon, we bought a house and less than 2 years later, they are telling him that he has to move again in a year. Personally, I just want to SLAP someone. He is not the only one who got the short end of the stick...but I am pretty sure he did get the shortest stick. Again.

When I am able to look past the fear and anger of the situation, I KNOW God can work this in to yet another amazing chapter in our book. But we are, of course, in the "pause" of it all...wondering how and IF God is going to work this out...and by "if" I guess I mean is God going to work it out the way we think it should work out. It's funny how we like to fool ourselves in to feeling like we are in control of ANY situation. I know I'm not in control. And I know. God can do ANYTHING. But right now I don't have a clue what is going to happen. And I guess I find it more tolerable to THINK I know what is going on than to walk around in a daze knowing I don't.

Tom could write a book. I've already come up with a title. 'How to Survive Your Employer Sucking the Life Out of You - One Breath at a Time." In the middle of last year, they made Tom move his office. He went from a nice windowed view to a small windowless office. Then one of his hourly employees quit (actually she transferred to a different job working for a friend in the same company) and for SOME reason, in doing that, she created a HUGE problem between Tom's boss and his boss's boss. They actually, literally yelled at him for over an hour for letting her take another job. Working for her former boss and personal friend. I'm not sure how Tom could have changed that or why he would even want to. She was a good employee...and good at what she did, but she was an hourly employee that Tom had NO control over her hourly pay...his boss did. But somehow, it was Tom's fault. There have been other things but this one was the one that started to make Tom not feel the love anymore... And then this week happened. His boss lost his job and so did his boss's boss. They split the division that Tom was a manager of, took away all of his employees, gave them and his job to some one who has worked there for less than 6 months AND...put Tom under the one person in that division that has caused him problems for years. OUCH.

Tom came home from work the day after this news hit him and Zach said, "Did you quit?" Oh, Zachy...you can't DO that in the real world. There are house payments and car payments and bills and... So, after the initial shock of the week has sunk in and we have realized that we would have to pay back our 1st time homeowners $8k incentive because we haven't lived here for 3 years and, oh yeah, we bought a $180k house in a dead market in a town with a higher than the national average rate of unemployment. Not to mention the prices of housing plummeting. Except in Portland...where they want us to move. There is NO way we can pay back 8k, sell our house we've had for less than 2 years (at best for a profit and at worse...at all!) and move to Portland. And, oh yeah- we don't WANT to, either! We JUST got settled here!

Tonight, after hitting a wall at his work and yelling that I hate what they did to my husband, I realized something. WHY do we expect light from darkness? Yes, the did him wrong. Why would that surprise me? I SO want Tom to get treated with the same integrity that he treats others with...but he never is. They aren't Tom and they don't play by God's rules. WHY do we expect light from darkness?

So I pause and I try to make some God sense out of it. We really felt, that as hard as it was to leave Illinois, it was what God wanted us to do. Our biggest fear was getting out her and Tom losing his job because there aren't many other jobs around here...well, that has sort of happened. He hasn't physically lost his job...but he sure has lost the desire to work there. But we started talking. If God wanted us out here, in this place...how else could we get here? Tom's employer is one of the top 3 employers in this town. The school and the hospital are the other two. He has no medical background and he doesn't have teaching credentials so...it isn't like anything other than his company would have ever gotten us out here. There would be NO other way we would have come. We wouldn't look here for a job...it wasn't part of OUR plan. So, I think God is up to something. I'd love to know what, but...He isn't sharing just yet. So I have to do one of those things that do NOT come easily. I have to trust God knows better than I do. And you know what bugs me the most about that? That it doesn't come easily for me. God is the only one who has never let me down...so why can't I just let go of all that junk I keep mulling over in my mind and trust Him?

Well, I'm working on it....

The mind of a 14 year old...

2011-02-05T01:24:00.003-06:00

I just spent an hour chatting with Tyler about Ukraine. He was mostly waxing poetic about his childhood...he spoke of everything from wondering if his Ukrainian grandmother was still alive to catching spiders with twine and gum. My thoughts switched back and forth from "I hope he always remembers these things" to "Is he just trying to stay up later and knows I'm a sucker for him recalling his days in Ukraine?"

I was able to tell him the totally God-woven timeline of their adoption and how they were only available for about 10 days when we got there and how within 7 days of us getting there, the government changed the rules to only being able to adopt kids 10 years or older (they were 7 & 8 at the time). Everything worked out within a very tight time frame for us to get them 0 and of course, God worked it out perfectly. Including the part that IF his grandmother had contacted the orphanage within the year they were there, they would NOT have been available for adoption. He said "Yeah, she probably knew she couldn't take care of us." Yes, and because she knew she couldn't, she didn't contact the orphanage. One of the first things Tyler ever communicated to us in English was that the ONLY person is all of Ukraine that ever loved him was his grandmother. I think of her often (she is probably in her 50s and is most likely still alive).

While I know his true past and many of the horrid things that happened to him, to hear him, you'd think he had the most wonderful childhood. The details about the games he played and the people who were his friends and were not his friends and the things they did...they all sound like something I imagine out of the 50s - you know...back when the government didn't protect us from sharp objects and the unsafe world. The fact is, childhood in Ukraine, in general, IS much more dangerous that our cotton-padded America. I know there are places in the US that aren't all safe and cozy, but MY world, and now our boys world, is fairly well-wrapped in a blanket of safety. Listening to Tyler talk about the projectiles they made (and shot at each other), the cement jungles they wrestled on, the thorny woods they tripped each other in and the playground full of really tall and dangerous metal toys they ran around and flew off of...it was like it was any boys dream. At one point he even stopped and paused. I asked him, "Does it seem like forever ago?" He replied, "Yeah. I miss it."

He misses it. I sit here and think about that. What is it that he misses? Having a mother who abused him? Or living in an orphanage and having NO parents? Does he miss not getting enough to eat? Does he miss living in a room full of same-aged children with dirty clothes and no showers? WHAT is there to miss? It didn't make me angry...it just made me think.

I know what he misses - he misses being a child! In all of his 14 years, Ukraine represents a time that was tough, yes...but it was also a time of freedom. Of not thinking about "Will this hurt?" but instead thinking "MAN! THAT HURT!" and of just picking himself up and brushing himself off and going to the next big adventure. Because if there is one thing you have when you have a mother who doesn't really care...or you live in an orphanage that is outnumbered on the kids to adults ration...one thing you most certainly have - is FREEDOM. Even if you aren't allowed to go there or do that...you DO go there and you DO go and do that. Because you have to get CAUGHT before you get in trouble! And it is worth it to try because chances are, you'll get away with it. And if you DO get caught, what can they do to you? Hurt you worse than you've already been hurt by your own mother? Unlikely. Plus, like most young boys, Tyler was invincible. To a certain extent, he still is...you know there is a reason common sense doesn't kick in for the male until they are in their 20s...it would really compromise their fearless invincibility!

I remember Tyler's first and longest-held complaint of becoming an American. "TOO MANY RULES!" He felt his youthful care-freeness being sucked out of him within a month of landing. It wasn't just school, it was family, too. I remember Tyler AND Zach saying to us "Brush our teethe??? EVERY day???" Followed quickly by showers or baths...EVERY day. and school...ALL day. No four hour break in the middle for quiet time (which I think was really teacher and orphanage worker four hour sanity time...). So much structure. If you think about it, how foreign was that for them? But I also remember him running to me EVERY time he got a little scratch! I would look at him and say "How can you be hurt by this? When we got you, you were covered with bruises and cuts and scrapes and NOTHING hurt you!" He consistently looked at me and said "Yes, but no one cared about me then...now I have you!" How can you find fault or argue with that?

I asked Tyler about how much fun he USED to have doing simple things. And how much time he spent outside playing WITHOUT all kinds of toys and accessories. He made toys out of ink pens and sticks and held on to single marbles because they were great and wonderful and bounced if you threw them down the hall. He said "Yeah, and now I don't want to stay outside for anything...and now I have all the video games and TV and my iPod..."

But even he knows that there is something he misses. Ahhh, the simpler life of childhood from the perspective of a 14 year old. He's only 14, but he's lived a lot longer than that.

The first time we met Tyler.

Brilliant!!!!

2011-01-29T16:32:00.003-06:00

We have two amazingly smart boys...report cards for the midterm are in... Ty = straight A's. Zach = one B and the rest straight A's. Why the B? By his own admission, because he TALKS too much to other kids. Last term, it was reversed. Zach had all A's and Ty had one B. (but HE got the B because the teacher didn't put all of his grades in...every kids dream, a lower grade due to a teacher mistake!)

Although we did talk to Zach about his excessive chatter...really, I won't complain. These are boys who, when they stepped foot on American soil 5 years ago, didn't speak a WORD of English. Now they are pretty consistently honor roll students. They do their homework, they have great personalities, they are courteous(for the most part), they are athletic and they (for the most part) listen and obey us...wow. How blessed are we? VERY!

As I get used to this "being the mom" thing...

2011-01-24T17:12:00.002-06:00

Less is blog worthy? Oh, I don't know...the kids still do plenty to amuse me. and FRUSTRATE me! Both boys are teens now. Tyler is 14 and Zach is 13. Tyler goes to HIGH SCHOOL next year...which is technically, physically...this year. And I don't even want to think about it cuz right after they go in to HS, then comes driving and well...I'm just not going to think about it! But it has been over 2 years since I blogged...and surely I need to keep a better record of my kids lives! I'm getting old, I won't remember! So, in the last 2 years, we have moved to Oregon, they are both in Junior High and on the honor roll, still love basketball and soccer and they are both amazing kids. They aren't perfect, but they have proven to be perfect for Tom and I. I love my kids - and I am very glad we got them!

It's not just the 6th grade GIRLS...

2008-09-06T14:26:00.005-05:00

Last night Tom and I were privileged to have Tyler's first "sleep-over" (that wasn't family). The very first friend Tyler ever made (BEFORE he spoke English) was Caleb. He considers him his best friend -EVER. And, of course, Caleb moved. But he only moved to Danville. But we still didn't see him often. Turns out this year, Caleb is on cross country for his junior high...and of course, so is Tyler. So we saw him at the first meet (And he won first place and ran like the wind!) Tyler started talking about having Caleb come up...and talked and talked and talked.

Well, Friday night was the Cross Country COW CHIP meet in Chrisman. Yeah. And they MEAN cow chip. They run in a field that cows typically graze and...POOP in. After it was over, Tyler found Caleb. So, mom, what are we doing tonight??? Can Caleb come over??? And we said yes. That began our evening with 6th grade boys(and one 5th grader...Zach). Average age=12. We started at Monical's where there were 3 girls from Rossville. As they went to wash their hands, "Hey...HE wants to go out with you...HE thinks you're cute..." I don't think I have EVER seen 3 boys eat so little and talk so much. Tom looked at me and said, "Oh my gosh, Lois. When I was substitute teaching, I always said I wouldn't teach 6th grade because the GIRLS are just too nutty. They talk all the time and they say nothing. I had NO idea that the BOYS were the SAME WAY!!!" It's true. It's not a girl thing, it's a 6th grade thing. We finished up and the boys loaded in to the car while I went to the restroom. Three minutes later, I opened the car door to the stereophonic sound of faux farting through the palms of their hands. The fartfest continued for the next 25 minutes until we got home. The rest of the evening was, I'm assuming, normal 12 year old boy stuff.

There are a few things you can learn from 6th grade boys, although I am not too sure how applicable they are...for instance, when playing Nerf darts, make sure you take your shirt off before the dart war begins. It HURTS worse with your shirt off.

Yeah, that one isn't too applicable to me. It was am amusing and enlightening evening, to be sure.

JUST when you think they "get" it...

2008-09-02T22:58:00.002-05:00

It's funny, the boys speak remarkably well when you consider they have only spoken English for a little over 2 1/2 years. I remember when they had been here for about 10 months, I wrote down some of their "mis-quotes" because it was kind of like their first words. I remember when Tyler came home and he said that there was a new boy at school. We asked him what the new boys name was and he said "I not know...maybe Breadstick? Turns out, his name was Brett. Later that week we asked what they were playing in PE and he said "Oh, FUN! We play FUDGE ball!" Hmmm. Could that be DODGE ball? Zachary was just as creative in his use of English. One time after Tom explain to Zach what "annoying behavior" was and...to not HAVE annoying behavior, Zach took it to heart. Tom was playing around with him early one morning and Zach had enough and said, "Papa...you're ANNOINTING me..." Another time, Zach came home and said his music teacher said he could earn extra credit if he came home and looked up Bosh on the internet. Bosh...Bosh...music teacher...OH! You mean BACH? They amuse us with their strangled English at times...but it has gotten SO much better. The biggest issues we have now are "dis" and "dat" and "da" instead of this, that and the. Dey don't use der "th's" very much. They are capable...but we are constantly correcting them on it.
Last week (a whole week in to school) Zach brought home his first week worth of corrected papers. He had two D's (and we don't DO D's in this house). The math D was somewhat understandable - timed test, review on division, moldy summer brain...I get that. But the other D was in Reading and Zach is pretty good at reading - he actually LIKES reading (unlike Tyler). I started reviewing the paper and could immediately see the problem. The story was about Nina who was Latino. The second question on the test was, "Nina is Latino. What would you say you are? A. Latino B. American C. African-American or D. Caucasian." Well, you guessed it. White boy Zach...is African-American. I asked him what he thought that meant and he didn't have a clue (and really...why would he?) I explained that Barack Obama is African-American. And Zach is not. Zach is caucasian. "Oh!"
Sometimes it surprises me what they don't know. I think what surprises me is that I assume they DO know it. We still have to slow down and remember - 2 1/2 years...not long at all! Then again, I still have to remind them to brush their teeth EVERY night...and they have been doing that for 2 1/2 years straight! They are SMART...and TYPICAL.
I got the school newsletter last week and made an interesting discovery...the SCIENCE teacher is NEW! This MAY mean that I have cryogenically processed insects in my freezer for NO reason! I keep telling Tyler to ask the teacher if they are going to do a bug collection. I would be willing to give them a proper burial...and I would LOVE to get them out of my freezer. Could this be the NO Illinois scrapbook all over again? Hmmmmm....

I have BUGS in my freezer...

2008-08-26T20:31:00.002-05:00

There are several things that are a “rite of passage” when you go to our little grade school.

In third grade they each had a rock collection to do. It was simple - 12 rocks. Find a black one, a round one, a square one (I do believe Tom CREATED a square one for Tyler...we couldn't FIND one...so, he chiseled one!)

In the 4th grade, it was the Illinois scrapbook. Tyler had to do it – 50 facts about Illinois in scrapbook form. He had all kinds of facts and all kinds of pictures from all over Illinois (because…I am a photographer…I take LOTS of pictures. And, the kids are almost used to it). He had everything from Metropolis to Chicago. AND, because we knew that Zach would be in the 4th grade, too, I always took pictures of him by all of the interesting Illinois stuff. We planned ahead. Anyway, Tyler’s Illinois scrapbook was awesome. I got an A+ on it. I mean, err…HE got an A+ on it. Then the grade school hired another 4th grade teacher and last year, Zach had her instead of the teacher Tyler had.

She SAID they were doing an Illinois scrapbook…but time kept passing and the box full of Illinois memorabilia kept getting dustier. Then the edict came down. They would be doing not an Illinois scrapbook, but an Illinois ABC book. Through the alphabet with three Illinois things for each letter. Zach got right to work and said he was doing great and needed NO help. What is a mother to do? FORCE her artistry on her son? I checked on him a little but, for the most part, I let him do his own thing. THEN…the day before it was due arrived. And I decided to check on my son and his ABC Illinois book. We got through A, B and C without too many problems. Then we hit D and I immediately knew I should have been checking CLOSELY all along. Three things for Illinois… Well, we have D – DOGS. There are dogs in Illinois. D – DOLLARS. There are dollars in Illinois. Is this what the teacher wants??? I don’t think this is what she wants. And then the D of all time. D…DIAPERS. People in Illinois wear diapers. Oh, my. What to do…laugh or cry? I think I yelled. Poor kid. Starting at D (and of course it was about 8:30 at night) and we had a looong night in front of us. Although it wasn’t perfect, it DID make sense. So off to school he went and turned it in – on time, albeit lacking some sleep on both our parts. But here is the kicker…because OTHER kids didn’t have it turned in, anyone who turned it in completed and on time got an automatic A. He COULD have gone with D – DIAPERS. People in Illinois wear DIAPERS.

ANYWAY…back to the bugs. In my freezer. Rumor has it that another mandatory grade school project is a BUG collection in the 6th grade. Every cousin who has attended 6th grade here has done one (an NO ONE saved any critters for us to recycle and re-use!!!). So, not knowing what we need, we started collecting bugs. And we kill them by freezing them. In plastic baggies, in Tupperware, in whatever we can find. After they are bug-sicles, I put them in one "community" container. It’s kind of gross. I am beginning to wonder if cryogenics is the best form of bug preservation. There are various unclaimed legs in the container.

So, I have a cicada, grasshopper, cricket, praying mantis, lightening bug, several moths and assorted I-don’t-have-a-clue bugs. Rumor has it that TYLER has actually put some bugs in the freezer, too (so I’m not the only one collecting bugs for our…I mean HIS bug collection.) We EVEN have some “midges” flown back from one of Tom’s trips from Oregon. Hopefully this isn’t an ILLINOIS bug collection.

I remember my mandatory 7th grade project – it was a LEAF collection. Much easier to collect, much easier to store. And…prettier, too. And not so gross and…leggy.

Time flies when you're having fun....

2008-08-24T16:34:00.004-05:00

Wow. I looked up my old blog due to a friends blog and started reading my past posts. It has been OVER 2 years since I last posted about the fun of suddenly becoming a family of four. It has been a wild ride and I absolutely LOVE being a mom. My boys are now 12 (!!!) and 11 (!!!) and they are both the joys of my life. I think that perhaps I should start writing this again because it chronicles LIFE...and I forget the details if I don't write them down. So, thanks, Anita...I have decided to start blogging again!

Hmmm. Can I sum up 28 months in a paragraph? Nope. I will remember things here and there and make note of it, but for the most part, ONWARD! The boys speak little to no Russian anymore. I speak more fluently than they do (and, if you know me, you know I am NOT fluent in Russian!) They are pretty good at English although there are MANY times that I have NO idea what they are saying. Apparently, that is common for parents of pre-teens so I am not too concerned about it. They pick up slang. Sometime accurately, sometimes...not so much. I have had Tyler say things like "You want a piece of MEAT?" out of jest to his younger brother (meaning, "You want a piece of ME?!") and the other day, Zach - the youngest of the entire family jokingly said to Tyler "Don't question my authority..." I had to laugh as I told him that, as the youngest, he had NO authority! They hear people use idioms and then they use them...not really knowing what they mean or how to use them. It's amusing, to say the least.

The boys are sport nuts. They play basketball in the winter, baseball in the summer, soccer in the fall and this year, they are running cross country. They ran their first meet on Saturday. It was a huge meet with over 14 other junior high schools. They did very well and I actually ENJOYED it. As a spectator, a cross country meet is kind of like a flock of geese waddling from one spot to the next trying to follow your runner. I love watching my boys enjoy something - and they seem to enjoy running.

School just started last week. Ty is in 6th grade - JUNIOR HIGH. Zach is in 5th grade. They are growing up SO fast. Everyone says kids grow up fast...but when you get middle aged kids to begin with (middle KID age, not middle aged), it is like childhood is on overdrive. The good thing is that I remember more of it (I don't have to go back too far!).

Tom graduates with his Masters in December. He SAYS he is done...we'll see. The man has been in college for as long as I have known him...and we celebrate 17 years of marriage this September. He gives new meaning to life-long learner!

We did a "close" vacation this year (last year we went to Florida AND California). We went to Minnesota and up to Canada. It was perfect weather and we had a wonderful time.

Sping is in the AIR!

2006-05-18T17:28:00.000-05:00

And Ty and Zach are READY for school to be OUT! Last night, Tyler fell apart with papa. He started crying when it was bedtime about how in Ukraine, they had a time when school was out and they got to run free and stay up and do whatever they wanted. He was not pleased to find out that he would not be running free with no one watching him here in the states. His thinking is that after school gets out, he and Zach should just be able to stay upstairs and do whatever they wanted while we are at work...no need for anyone to watch them. Little does he know that he is coming to work with me and attending the daycare all day. The school-aged program is going to be great for them. They do all kinds of field trips and they are kept busy. I KNOW he would rather watch TV all day and play video games all night. But I DO think he would get bored after a few days of that! At least I HOPE so!

I had my first official Mother's Day. We went to eat at the same restaurant that we go to every Sunday. It is a Chinese buffet that the boys refer to as the "manoga myasa" place. We have since started referring to it in English as the "Much Meat" restaurant...because that is what Zach named it. So, we ate at Much Meat and went home (OH and we went to the manager's office at Wal-Mart...but more on that later).The week before Mother's Day, the boys made cards and a tissue-paper flower in school. I got home on Thursday and Tyler ran up with something behind his back and said, "Momma! Momma!!!" whilst holding his gifts behind his back. He pulled them out and yelled, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOMMA!!!!" Ahhh. Zach waited until the day after Mother's Day to give me his card and flower. It is interesting to me to note that Mother's Day has always been hard for me BEFORE I was a mother. Now, on my first Mother's Day...I feel like I have been a mother FOREVER!

In a few days, we will have been home with the boys for 5 months. I am amazed at how well they have adjusted and at how GOOD they are. I mean, sure, we have our little bumps (I will tell you of a few funny ones in a minute) but for the most part, these boys who SHOULD be basket cases are actually very normal, very sweet, wonderful kids. The majority of our bumps are typical 9 and 10 year old things - not post-institutionalized, screwy, warped things! I am convinced that these boys were covered on prayer (by MANY people) before we knew them and that God and prayer is the reason they are doing well.

Hmmm...let's see. Zach has had a few rough weeks - but not at school! I get Zach up to "go potty" every night. I got him up last Friday and walked him in to the bathroom, positioned him in front of the toilet with the seat up and then I went outside the bathroom to clean the cat litter. The next thing I hear is the sound of soft rain on paper....no, wait...the next sound I hear is ZACH piddling in the TRASH CAN!!!!! The next thing Zach hears is "ZACHARY FANELLI!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?" He has by then, of course, stopped everything - and is standing and staring at me wide-eyed. His words..."Momma...I forgot." Hmmm. Because in Ukraine we used to piddle in the garbage can all the time? No - they did have bathrooms and the bathrooms didn't HAVE trash cans. It wouldn't have ticked me off so much if I hadn't LINED HIM UP in front of the toilet. He had to MOVE to hit the trash can. So, in miffed-mother-mode, I said "FINE. YOU are CLEANING IT UP!" I made him dump the soaked trash into another bag and then put the trash can in the tub and wash it with soap and water. Then I had regained a shred of composure, dried the can, apologized for screeching at him and told him that I really hoped he didn't "forget" that in school - that would be embarrassing!

On Saturday, we went about our day waiting for the return of papa. He had been gone for a whole week this time and true to their form, they started asking when he was coming home the day before he was due. We went to Wal-Mart on Saturday and the boys got a giant frisbee and some other little stuff. Tyler is sly. He asks for the big stuff but asks by saying, "Me, I want this but you say no..." Then I SEE the $5 or $10 item and then I DO say no. But typically, they get something every time we go to the store. Usually at $2 or $3 item. A ball, a yo-yo - something. Well, we checked out and papa called as he was on his way home form the Indy airport. We went home and unpacked groceries and waited for papa. About an hour after we got home, Tyler comes up to me and tells me that Zach has taken a pack of gum from Wal-Mart. WHAT?!?!? I ask him to tell me what went on and he tells me that he "found" it on the floor at Wal-Mart. We went through the whole "is-it-yours" and the "did-you-pay-for-it" things and finally I got him to admit that yes, he had stolen it and no, it wasn't his to take. I am absolutely angry with him but trying to not lose it on him (you ungrateful little TURD!!!) and then I decide to let papa in on this. He is less than 10 minutes from home when I call and tell him (and he is furious, too).

Okay, so now he has to come home after being gone for a week and pretend like he doesn't know and greet them with hugs and kisses. I must say, he pulled it off very well. I read Tyler a book and Zach and dad went to the other room to talk. Ty told me that he saw the gum on the floor and asked Zach about it and he said he found it on the floor but "shhh - don't tell momma..." which, of course, he immediately did. At this point, I am glad that Ty tells on his brother. Someday it may be annoying. Anyway, Tom got Zach to crack and Zach was bawling his eyes out. Tom told him that after church, we were going to go to Wal-Mart and he was buying the gum with his own money (20 cents - wooo hooo)and then we were talking to the manager.

I called the manager ahead of time to make sure they wouldn't hall my kid to jail for a pack of gum and they assured me to bring him in. They had two managers talk to him and he said things like since Zach took something that belonged to Wal-Mart, they were taking all of his videos and games. Did that sound okay to him? Of course, Zach said "Yes." He talked for about 5 minutes about all the opportunities that Zach had now that he is in America and Zach just sat there and responded with appropriate responses. He got it the night before with his father. He seemed to understand this was a big, huge, monstrous NO NO. I think he won't ever try it again. I hope.Sunday came, I let his Sunday School teacher know what was going on. We hit Much Meat and then Wal-Mart.

But the best part of this story is what happened on Monday night. Tom said that they wanted to pray at dinner time (a first) and so they did. They each prayed and Ty said "Thanks for food and house and momma and papa" and Zach said "Thanks for grandma and grandpa and please help grandma's leg heal" and then they ate (I was working late). Then, Tom said they wanted to pray before bed (COOL!! Another first!). Tyler prayed that I would get home soon and Zach prayed about being thankful for momma and papa and grandma and grandpa and then...he said, "I sorry God for stealing gum." He really DID get it! Tom said it was all he could do to not just drop to his knees and start sobbing right there.

It is so hard to explain God and the whole concept of relationship with Christ to a 9 and 10 year old. It is different when you have them in church from the time they are born. These boys have had a lot of stuff happen to them. A lot of things that I would ask WHY to if I were them (Sometimes I ask why anyway!) To know that they are understanding forgiveness and grace and God and the love of Christ (okay, I know they don't understand all of that) but to know they are starting to grasp that they even need to SAY "I'm sorry" to God. It is just too cool.

Well, tomorrow is our combined birthday party for the boys at the church. They took invitations to their class at school and apparently Zach had a few left over and went in to the 1st and 2nd grade classes. The school has a deal where if you invite at school, you have to invite the whole school. Sooo - I got a call from school wondering if the 1st grade teacher should make copies of the invite for the entire class or if I really MEANT for the 1st and 2nd grade class to come.... Uh, NO! So far, we have had one RSVP from a 2nd grader - and the boys don't really know her. Go figure. We shall see if a million of if 10 show up - it doesn't matter to me. I know that we are having a giant jumping balloon and I know WE will have fun!

Saturday we are going to a wedding in Chicago and staying in a hotel so the boys get to swim. Sunday night is the Children's Spring Musical at church...both boys are in it so - we will have their first church performance. Two weeks ago we had their first school performance as they played their recorders. Zach is a complete HAM!

Next week, papa is gone for half the week and then we are going to St. Louis next weekend for Zach's birthday weekend. I take cupcakes on Tuesday for his birthday and school is OUT on Wednesday. And then, it is almost SUMMER TIME!!!

I think one post a month is...enough!?

2006-04-21T16:22:00.000-05:00

Well, Easter is over (Yay!) and now life can return to normal (I don't even have a clue what that is anymore...)
My intuition was correct - the other foot DID fall - about 2 days after I wrote that. The boys both told us about some things in their past that is very hard to hear and know they have gone through. Just to give you the tip of the iceberg, I was telling Zach that he better love his brother (he had said he didn't) and I said "You better love him, he is the ONLY brother you will ever have." Both of them said "No, momma...we have other brothers and a sister..." To make a long story short, we spent the next hour or so discussing this (their official paperwork says there are NO other siblings). What we can gather, they had two older half-brothers and a half sister (somewhere around 15 to 17 years old). I don't think they lived with them and they may or may not have been related - their birth mother's life is pretty sketchy...and apparently somewhat promiscuous). Okay -so they had other siblings...but that wasn't the bad thing. Then they told us about a younger brother. He was a little baby. But - their pappa got drunk and fell asleep on him and he is dead. Yeah. DEAD. We tried to clarify that. He IS dead. So, by reading through the paperwork we have - we are GUESSING that is what got them permanently removed from home and their mother's rights terminated. He was about 2 years old and he would have been their half-brother because the man that they referred to as "pappa" was not their birth father. The really sad thing is that Tyler said to me (in Russian) "Oh, momma...we have MUCH bad history. I will tell you more when I learn more English." So, we tucked them in to bed, walked out of the room, let our jaws drop and drag on the ground and wondered HOW on earth you deal with this kind of stuff. We told them they were safe now and that no one can hurt them now. They seem to understand that - but I am AMAZED at how well theses kids are doing. They have WAY too much history. Ty has filled us in on various things when he sees something that reminds him of his past. NONE of the things he remembers are good. Oh wait - he remembers that they had a pear tree - and in the summer they had lots of pears and they were good but Zach ate them when they were green...that was the way he liked them!

Other than the stuff that comes out pretty regularly (we aren't too easy to shock anymore), we have had a LOT more firsts. We went to the Indianapolis Zoo and spent the night in a hotel with a two-person jacuzzi in the room. The boys LOVED the dolphins and the Walrus. They also loved the jacuzzi - they played in it for about 2 hours. Of course after the zoo, we finished the day up with a trip to Chuck E. Cheese (always a favorite).
Grandma had her knee replacement surgery. She has been over at Marg's since so the boys have seen a lot less of her. I know with Tom traveling...I am ready for her return! She is a huge help to us. Dad is picking up where she left off, but sometimes I JUST WANT MY MOMMY! Dad has been doing us a huge favor watching them too. He had Zach out planting and said he seems to know what to do.
Tom (er, I mean Zach and Ty) had their first ROCK Collection turned in at school...Tom was actually in the backyard CHISELING a rock so it would be square (one of the 12 or so requirements for the collection). Tom got A's on both collections! The boys also got their first report cards and we had our first parent/teacher conferences. At this point, it looks like Tyler will be in 4th grade next year and Zach will be in the 2nd. Better than we expected for Ty and about what we expected for Zach. Tyler AND Zach are both doing great. Tyler excels in Math. Zach is getting better to not get sent to the "director" nearly as often. It seems as if anyone ASKS me how the boys are and if they have been to the principal lately, I can honestly respond "No, not in the last couple of weeks..." And then inevitably, the phone rings within 20 minutes or so of that comment and guess who it is...Yup - the principal. He has figured out that Zach fears ME more than he fears him...so he calls and has ME talk to Zach. It seems to work!

We had our first BIRTHDAY!
Tyler turned 10! I have a kid in the double digits! For his birthday weekend, we went to Chicago and visited the Museum of Science and Industry that had a vide game exhibit (hands-on of course!) We were in that exhibit for over 2 HOURS!!!! I was SO ready to leave! They also got to make their own space toys and got the little plastic injection-molded toy and we went to the OmniMax theater. We also went to Check E. Cheese on THAT trip. They were exhausted and slept most the way home. Tyler also made his first purchase with his own money. His Aunt in PA sent him a $20 check and pappa cashed it. Tyler decided to buy a Razor scooter with it. He also got his first BIKE from Uncle Steve and Aunt Janet. He LOVES the bike - he loves being outside!
We had out first Easter!
And...our first Easter egg coloring and hunt. We did it on Saturday with lots of family involved in the hunt. The boys love the hunt because mom and dad always fill plastic eggs with MONEY. Tyler came away with a bucket full of candy and $11.00 - he cares more for the money than the candy!
We left the Easter service and went to Indy to an indoor water park. It was a BLAST for the boys. They took off and I didn't see Zach for over an hour (he went on the waterslide about 50 times!) Their were lifeguards every 10 feet so it was safe for them to go. We floated along the lazy river and watched the boys climb the stairs over and over to go down the slide again and again!

FIRST WATER PARK!!!
Well, May is right around the corner. We will have a combo birthday party for the boys and their friends and then we will have Zach's birthday weekend. We think we are going to go to St. Louis. MORE FIRSTS!

A bunch of firsts....

2006-03-09T19:40:00.000-06:00

Okay, I know - its been a long time. But it is the busiest time of the year for me at work...and the busiest time of my life since this year has began. I don't feel "busier" than I used to - I always felt busy. It's just that now I have even less time to do the things I like doing. But...I have to say...I LIKE being "momma" a LOT. I am no longer feeling like their parents are going to show up and take them home at any moment. Now I am just waiting for the other foot to fall. Like...when am I going to find out something terrible happened to them. Part of that is because they have been speaking about their past more lately. Part of that is because I know some terrible things DID happen to them. And...part of it is reading posts from an older adoption group about the problems people are having with their kids and they have been home for 2 and 3 years. That kind of freaks me out. And...I suppose part of it is because of behavior I have seen. I have to wonder where it came from and why it is in an 8 year old mind. So I think about it a lot. Welcome to motherhood.

We have had a lot of firsts lately. First Valentine's Day (what is not to like...candy, cupcakes and girls, girls, girls). First Dentist appointments, first fillings, first blood drawn (in America at least!), first hair-cuts from pappa, first visit to the Children's Museum in Indianapolis which led to the first rock-climbing experience (they both did GREAT!). They also had their second dental appointment and had half their cavities filled. They both have one more appointment to get the rest filled and then Zach goes back for the front tooth repair job. They also went back to the doctor and got their second shots and the bloodwork came back great - we have basically healthy kids (Yay! Praise God!).

It WAS pretty quiet on the school principal path...until today! Zach had a little episode today and got in trouble ad the superintendent called me. Nothing too serious - just a battle of the wills. I hope someday he learns that grown-ups win. The funny thing was that the super was talking to me and telling me he had Zach go through why he was upset, what started it, how he could have handled it better, etc. and they had talked it out and the super asked him "Can I have your word that you will be on good behavior for the rest of the week? I don't want to see you back in here? Can you tell me that you won't be?" And Zach said to him, "Yes...if you don't tell my mother!" The superintendent said "So, I guess you pack more of a punch than I do!" I told him that I didn't know if Zach remembered but...the last time we said if he went to the director...no screens for 3 days! Soooo...he knew what was coming. I explained to him tonight that adults don't play that game. WE tell. I also explained to him that his teacher ands the superintendent aren't his momma and poppa - they NEED to tell us because it is our job to teach the boys what is right and wrong.

I also had to talk to Ty because he hasn't been an angel either. He melted down and cried and sobbed. When I got him calmed down I asked him why he was crying. Was he mad? Sad? Angry? Frustrated? "No!" he answered to frustrated...go figure. So why? "I don't know." Yeah, I understand, Tyler - I really do. I had to explain to both of them that I loved them whether they were good or bad and that it is normal for little boys to do things wrong and get in trouble. It's okay. But...expect to get in trouble when you do it. They are both so different. Zach gets a remorseful face and a sullen look and take the punishment and is over it. Ty gets defensive and frustrated and cries and pouts. Then he takes his punishment and is over it. I feel like SUCH a MOTHER! So - Zach has no TV until Sunday and Tyler has no TV today. Tomorrow night Zach gets a reprieve as we are going to go see the new VeggieTales movie at church - so he gets one BIG screen!

Poppa has been out of town all this week and all last week. He was home for the weekend and then off again last Monday. Momma doesn't like single-parenting. The boys handle it fine but they miss him like crazy.

Next week is...Spring Break. Wow. My mom will be watching them for most of the week. We have nothing planned as we have our vacation planned for August and we are taking a day off...around EASTER. In the SPRING! Ya know?! How nuts is it to have Spring Break a month before Easter. And...fun for the boys...the school has state testing the week AFTER Spring Break. So...all those kids after having a week to couch potato - jump right back in to school and ISAT testing. Great timing. Poor kids! Welcome BACK!!!!!! SIT. WRITE. READ. CALCULATE. NOW!!! My boys ought to lower their scores a bit. I can't believe they even have to test - but they are.

I have more pictures...but not with me. Soon. Sooner than it has been...the boys are already too tall for size 8's (both of them) and all in all - I think they are doing GREAT! And Tom and I are doing just fine, too!

Brrrrrr...Baby, it's cold...INSIDE

2006-02-07T21:32:00.000-06:00

Well, last night I was reading e-mail in the den and I was absolutely FROZEN. I figured it was just because it was colder outside than it had been in January (we had a couple of 40 plus days and LOVED it!) and so I thought the cold was me...in the words of my mother, I just needed to DRESS warmer. By the time I went to bed, I felt like a popsicle. We have a ceramic heater in our bedroom that runs 24/7 (that is another story) and it is always freezing in there so I figured I was just a weather woose. Morning came and I went in the bathroom for a shower and turned on the heater in there. No big deal, I am always cold in the morning.

Tom got up about 1/2 an hour later and said HE was cold! Hmmmm...He is NEVER cold!!! Then he said, "I think I have this figured out. I bet the heater is not on." What do you mean? It is broken? "Nooo - I bet someone turned it OFF!!!" So, he went to the thermostat (which happens to be located in the boy's bedroom) and sure enough - it was turned down to 50! And...the actual temperature was 53! NO WONDER WE WERE COLD!!!!

Of course, I assumed it was our button-pushing maniac Zach and I asked him about it. He said it was Tyler. Tyler was half asleep...but eventually fessed up. Yup. He turned it down. He had NO idea what it was...but you can bet his frozen toes he knows NOW! I don't think either will be spinning that little dial again soon - they were both frozen, too!

Yesterday was visit number one to the dentist. The boys have mouths full of cavities. About 7 each in their baby teeth and 2 or 3 each in their molars. They will go back 3 or 4 times for the repair work. I asked about Zach's front tooth and the dentist told me they would put a filling in. I said "It can't be capped?" thinking that Zach would have a huge silver tooth and the dentist said it couldn't be capped until he was 18 or 19. I am kind of freaking out thinking he will have this ugly metal tooth until he is 19 and then he explains...they can get TOOTH colored filling material and it will almost look like a tooth. You would have to look hard to see that is wasn't. Ok...my pretty boy will still be a pretty boy.

So far this week NO PRINCIPAL calls. Oh. But we DID have one last Friday. Zach strikes again. He was pretty much doing his own thing. Pouting, curling up in a ball in the cafeteria and crying, not eating his lunch, missing recess, pouting because of that, and then...just walked out of his class and down to the computer to play his games. He explained the whole situation to us when he came home...imagine this...he was the apple, Alyssa was the banana and someone else (unknown to us) was the orange. The apple and the banana were in line together and happy. Life was good. Then the ORANGE came up and split the apple and the banana apart. That made the banana sad...but it made the apple curl up in a ball and pout. Hmmm. Well, I explained to our apple that the pouting apple ended up missing recess and the banana and the orange went off together and played...so...what did the apple gain from this? We also explained that the apple is to NEVER leave the classroom. And, we told the little apple that the next time he went to the principal's office, it wasn't a day of no screens, it will be THREE days with No Screens!!! So...this week he has told us every day that he was good and he didn't go to the principal's office.

I KNOW that the call will come. I know he will be in the principal's office again...and I will have to live with one bored son who wants nothing but to frolic in screens...and will have 3 days of frolic-free screenlessness. That will be fun for all of us... that being said, I still think Zach is a pretty good apple...

Brr. I am getting cold again....do you suppose....Nah - just a weather woose...right?

Hmmm...full circle? Total SCHOOL Experience? FUN with the Principal?

2006-01-31T21:05:00.000-06:00

Well, it has been a somewhat mellow couple of weeks. Oh, except for Zach going back to the principal’s office twice (for getting is a shoving match...twice) and today...TYLER went to the principal's office. Why? Because he decked his brother in the bathroom. I don't know exactly why - something to do with a book. And I am guessing that Zach could have won an Oscar for his performance as wounded boy writhing on the floor in pain. But...nonetheless, we have to UNlearn pummeling as a method of problem solving. Sooo - tonight Tyler is having his first time of No TV, No video games (as Kenna calls it "No Screens"). He had a time-out at school and the principal called me and discussed how to punish him. It is actually the substitute principal who has called me all three times. He is great and lets me know what is going on. AND - he goes to our church. Interesting way to get to know other members of the church!

It has been rather uneventful other than that. It seems we have a good day, then a not so good day, then a good day, then a visit to the principal. Keeps us…um – entertained? Involved? Interested?

We had a couple of funny things happen that are quite endearing to us. Last Wednesday night in children’s church, Kenna (the Children’s Minister) was having the kids do an acrostic for the word WORSHIP. Kids called out things that had to do with worship that started with a W and then and O but when it got to R, no one was saying anything. Kenna kept asking and suddenly Tyler yelled out “R – RABBIT!!!” YAY! An English word that he knew started with R! Okay, we don’t worship rabbits, but HEY – one concept at a time. Plus, we ARE coming up on Easter and there are SOME people who worship rabbits around Easter, right? Anyway, we were pretty excited that he got an R word!

Then this past Sunday on our way to church, Zach and Ty had on MP3 players (they discovered those last week and are quite fond of them – and we happen to have several…so lucky them!) We have all Christian music loaded on them and Zach found a song that he liked so he played it over and over (like he does). Then he started singing along and we heard a rather loud off-key rendition of “You Are My Joy” by David Crowder Band – it was so funny and cute to hear this little guy belting out “You Are My Joy, You Are My Joy, You Are My Joy, You Are My JOY!!!” Of course it also happens to be one of Tom and my favorite songs. So, we are hearing more English in the strangest places! A few nights ago at dinner, Tyler just started pointing and saying colors of things – “BLUE! ORANGE! BROWN! YELLOW! RED!” They seem to be “getting” it. Now if we can just keep them from “getting” sent to the principal’s office!

All in all, it gets better every day. They are starting to feel “normal” to me – it is beginning to get hard to remember NOT having them…and NOT going to the principal’s office!!! (Just kidding!) I’m starting to love being a mom. And I am definitely loving these two little guys! I like the big guy in the middle, too!

Set a new family record...

2006-01-18T21:58:00.000-06:00

Well, today Zach got sent to the principal. None of my siblings have been to the principals office (at least not in GRADE school) nor have any of their children. So we win first prize for THAT! What did he do? Well, his interpreter wanted him to write words and he wanted to play on the computer. She said "no" and...he cussed at her in Russian. Makes Tom and I wonder if either of the boys have done that to us without us knowing...because they have been PLENTY ticked off at us!

Then, to follow up on his bad day, he decided not to listen to grandpa on the walk home from school. He crossed the street WITHOUT him (Highway 1 - not a major highway, but a highway nonetheless!). He didn't stop when he was asked, he didn't wait. He did not LISTEN at all.

And why did he do any of this...well, guess what his answer was. The age-old and timeless typical response of "I don't know." I am sure he didn't know. But what amazes me is did he think no one would tell us? So, he had a 20 minute time-out and no TV or video tonight. And I got to say the words, "Wait until your father gets home..." Which of course he didn't understand, but I said them anyway.

Well, we KNEW he was a little IMP when we got him, didn't we?! Hope we can get his attitude under control! Yeesh.

papa talked to him at the dinner table (with grandpa present) and told him he HAS to listen to grandpa. And I asked him about school tomorrow and he said "Yah znyoo - zaftra nee director..." which would be, "I know - tomorrow no principal..." He was very well behaved all night. Go figure. He must have know that he better not burn anymore bridges!

This is SO much fun!

Some PICS!

2006-01-12T14:45:00.000-06:00

Okay - so the first picture I just love because it is the first time that Ty told me he loved me. Prior to this, we would tell him we loved him and he would just not say anything. This was taken at Zach's orphanage and when I asked Ty what he said, he told me it said he loved me...Ahhhhh. So, of course, I love this picture!

Then we have a few pictures of Ty and Zach and their frist American Christmas. I think Ty's face says it all - it expresses exactly what all FOUR of us were feeling that day! The kids were surrounded by family and extended family and tons of packages and kids and food and excitement and confusion. They melted down by 2 o'clock on Christmas day and we retreated to the hotel. We ate pizza for dinner and they were asleep by 7 p.m.

And finally...the New Year has brought us FANTASTIC weather and last weekend it was about 60 degrees in Illinois...so we went to the park. Typically what Tyler is doing on the monkey bars would have FREAKED ME OUT...but remember what he was used to doing in the orphanage - this was not even a challenge for him (but it still freaked me out a bit

Vissyo! That's all for now! More later!

Okay...I PROMISE...

2006-01-11T23:27:00.000-06:00

I WILL update and fill you in on the wonderful world of parenthood post Ukraine...and soon... But I JUST got my computer out of the backpack this Saturday - honest! Yeah, we are a bit busier than we thought humanly possible!

But QUICK update - Tom started back to work December 30th. The boys started school on January 2nd and I returned to work January 4th. We unpacked the last of our suitcases this past Saturday.

How are the boys? Better than I would be if I were them. They like school, they have an interpreter for all but 2 classes, our youngest already has a GIRLFRIEND (He is 8!!!! Gimme a break!!!). We are getting to know their personalities more each day (and our instincts were correct from the beginning SO FAR).

How are WE? I still feel like I am babysitting - it still doesn't seem real to me. Can't imagine life without them but it still doesn't feel like they are mine forever, either. They don't sleep long enough. Okay, they sleep like 10 and a half hours...but I wish they would sleep like 12 hours on Saturday - and they DON'T...EVER! As much Russian as we CAN speak...I wish we could speak more. We love them and best of all - THEY LOVE US! They are excited to see us when we get home (OK - they want me to fix or get them something when I get home...but when DAD gets home, they are excited!!!).

In a nutshell, I think we boarded the longest, wildest, craziest roller-coaster ride EVER about 2 months ago and I don't know if this ride will ever end (but I have a sneaky feeling it won't!)

I have a ton of pictures and NO time...I know all of you long-time parents are out there LAUGHING at me!

I WILL update again...with fascinating things I have learned from my boys...NEXT WEEK!

Believe it or not...

2005-12-23T14:04:00.000-06:00

WE ARE HOME!!!!!!!! We arrived TODAY at 12:30. It was a looooong day and we are exhausted and we had several interesting things happen thanks to our children...I will tell you just a few...you know you are a MOTHER when you get handed every piece of chewed gum, dirty tissue and scrap of trash your children possess. AND you know you are a FATHER when you take your son to the bathroom in the airplane and the stewardess comes and asks frantically "Do you need HELP???" because your youngest son pressed the "HELP" button in the toilet...THREE DIFFERENT TIMES.

We made it, we are all here and relatively healthy (we all have colds) and the boys only had minor melt-downs.

Thanks you for all your prayers for getting us home by Christmas - they worked worked!!! We will put a few more pics up of their first US Christmas and we will see MOST of you next week! MERRY CHRISTMAS and GOD IS GOOD!

Soon and very soon...

2005-12-19T09:34:00.000-06:00

Just a few more pics and a few more bits of info... We HOPE to be out of here on Wednesday. Vasya is trying his darndest to get us to the US Embassy on Thursday. We can BEG for a Friday appointment (they don't work on Friday's...) if we don't get it done on Thursday. We HOPE and PRAY to get on a plane on Saturday or Sunday (Merry Christmas!!!) and be home on Christmas. That is our hope....PLEASE PRAY we get here (I know youa re already but I am READY to scome HOME!)

Zach asked the DAY we picked him up "So, are we going to America tomorrow?" We WISH! Few more days, Zach...then some sanity will return (HA!) Our kids have watched so many videos it is funny (funny...in a scary sort of way...) There is literally nothing else for them to do besides that and draw (I have pictures for all of you to post on your refridgerators...) We had a great time yesterday in Yalta. We ate in a fancy restaurant...Zach kept moving his silverware (and the waiter kept moving it back tot he right place...) Enough talk - MORE PICTURES!!!

We GOT 'Em!

2005-12-19T09:25:00.000-06:00

Hello all from the Fanelli's- Couple of things going on these past few days...
First, we are OFFICIAL. They are OURS! We are still going through the rest of the paperwork but the court side is done (and the JUDGE came in late and then left with he stamp - it didn't get done until after 1:30 and...it may delay us another day - we HOPE not.

Second, we had our first night all together...it was amusing. Nothing really happened, except Tom and I didn't sleep too well. We kept hearing the boys...SNORING. Yes, both of them.

Third, we had our first family vacation at the Black Sea (Yalta). Pictures to follow...

Fourth, I had my first haircut with a pair of blunt-tipped kiddy scissors (it was all we could find...) And for those of you with little faith, Tom did a DANDY job...but can you imagine!? He also cut his own hair. And he looks fine too.

I am thinking that my boys almost look like twins - I mean their jawline, their noses, their ears...they look SO similar...what do you think?

Just postin' more pics!

2005-12-15T11:24:00.000-06:00

Tom did the update this time - I am just posting pics and some prayers - please pray that the Judge sees fit to come in early tomorrow and sign our paperwork. We can't do anything without it and we have a lot of running around to do before we can leave this region (maybe next Monday or may be Tuesday or Wednesday if we don't get the paperwork early) The biggest problem we have now is we will be running in to holiday schedules with teh US embassy soon - and we want to get OUT of here with our BOYS!!!! The Embassy takes both US Holidays and Ukrainian holidays off so...we are coming up on a bunch!
Love you guys!

Hinges and elevators...

2005-12-15T10:45:00.000-06:00

Hello!

Tom here...

I know you've been waiting for the hinge story and the waiting is over! I will tell you the tail of the hinges.

HINGE STORY

First you must know that the toys we brought were rather generic. Remember, we had no idea if we were getting young kids or older kids, boys or girls... so, we couldn't bring everything. We have already exhausted the kids on most of what we brought, but boys like to play catch. We have been allowed to visit with Tyler in one room in the school and that room has a large storage system on one entire one. This is at least 20 years old, maybe more? It looks fine from a distance, but up close the thing is falling apart. Well, we have some balls with lights on the inside and we have occasionally even turned the light out when we were playing catch. Most of the time it's just Tyler and myself playing catch, but on occasion both Lois and Vasya (our interpreter) also join in. Well, on one such day the ball was thrown to Lois and it was not a good throw and she had to move to catch the ball. She moved right into the storage system and broke a door right off it's hinges! Yep! She broke three hinges in a second! We all laughed and then realized we had to fix the thing! Vasya told the Director of the orphanage what Lois did and she forgave her, and we told her we would fix it.

Seems simple - go to The Home Depot and by a few hinges and fix the thing - right? Well, there is no Home Depot and hardware for something that old may not be easy to find. Vasya found some hinges and we headed back the following day to fix the door. We arrive and start removing the old hinges and the new hinges do not look similar at all! Yep! We had the wrong style of hinges. Vasya claims they were the old Soviet style and we needed the old Ukrainian style!

A few days pass...

So, we went to the central market and found a different set of hinges and headed back to the orphanage - this time to fix the thing once and for all! Yep! These hinges would not work either! We were perplexed - now what? Well, Lois said, all you need to do is buy some wood and that would allow the hinges enough room and they would work. Vasya told Lois to go get Tyler - kinda brushing her idea off. If you know Lois - she doesn't care for that! She persisted and you know what - it may very well work.

So, we measured and recorded we need a pieve of wood 1 cm x 3 cm and at least as tall as Vasya's shoulder! Sure, no problem!!!

A few days pass...

So, back to the central market and we had to find someone sellinf wood! Not an easy task at all... but God is good and we found exactly what we needed and headed back to the orphanage - this time to fix the thing! Sure enough we were able to fix the door and in the process fix the door next to the one Lois broke!

ELEVATOR STORY

On Saturday the kids were sitting in front of the computer watching animated films dubbed in Russian and I thought they had seen enough and wanted to take the kids outside. So, I asked them to help me take the trash out. It is about a four block walk to the dumpsters - a nice little walk. So, Lois gathered all the trash - two bags and each boy grabbed a bag and off we went. We stepped outside our apartment and pushed the button for the elevator. We are staying on the 7th floor and we all piled in...me, my two sons and two bags of garbage. Zach likes pushing buttons and asked to push the button for the first floor. So, I approved and he pushed the button and the doors shut. In about 3 seconds the elevator stopped... I knew we were not completely down to the first floor, but the doors did not open! We were stuck between the 4th and 5th floors! Now, let me tell you the details about the elevators here... they are small - like 4 x 4! They stink! I thing every person and there pet has at one time used the elevator as a urinal!!! It is really bad! Then the garbage we brought with us... not a pleasant smell! So, I called Vasya on the cell phone and he was outside the elevator in a matter of minutes. He told me to press the alarm and hold it and when someone came on tell them I needed help. Sure, no problem - I speak such good Russian!!! No problem, nobody would answer. So, Vasya called a few people - who do you call when you need to get someone out of an elevator??? Well, Vasya got in touch with the right person and it would be 25-30 minutes. No problem! Except the two boys could not stop hitting each other - I had to separate them, but that didn't work and then Zach got tired and wanted to sit on the garbage bags! NO, NO, NO!!! Vasya then told them to settle down and before you knew it - the elevator was moving again. Just 25 minutes - not bad!

Well, that's my stories and now it's time to go.

Vissyo!

PICTURES!!!

2005-12-13T11:51:00.000-06:00

Typical BOYS!!!!

Family dinner

Tyler's Play - (He's the BEAR)

8, 7, 6, 5...

2005-12-13T11:21:00.000-06:00

WOW! What a weekend!!! We went to Djoncoy as planned on Friday but FIRST we went and got Tyler and he went with us. We surprised Zach with his big brother! He was elated...of course. Then it got better. We asked the director if we could take Zach with us to Simferopal. In a nutshell, she said, "No, we can't do that, it is against the rules...but no one will check...so, maybe, if we can have him back within an hour of us calling if someone DOES check and we will have you request him for each day of the weekend...so, okay!" Yep - we got Zach for the entire weekend! We had him from about 11 on Friday until Monday morning at 9 a.m. We had Ty for each day from about 10 until about 6. Can I tell you...we FEEL like parents!!!
So, we had a weekend full of firsts. To name a few, our first family dinner, Zach's first pizza, and Tom's first time getting stuck in an elevator (with Ty, Zach and 2 bags of garbage...). We had a great time and we did a lot. We got another set of clothes for each boy, we gave them both bathes (they played for about an hour and had a blast!) We had to take Ty home each night and as he went with Tom and Vasya, I had time alone with Zach. Friday night he got his first bath and he played alone for 45 minutes (with me checking every couple of minutes). I gave him a bottle of bubbles (what harm can he do in the tub with bubbles???) and he used the WHOLE bottle. He was sliding around the tub like a nut! After he got out of the tub, it was about bed time so he, of course, had to go to the bathroom several times. After the last time, he actually went in and went to sleep. Tom called to me and told me to look in the toilet...well, first, let me explain the toilet. In most Ukrainian flats, the toilet room is just that - a toilet in a tiny room. OUR toilet has a broken lid so you can see how it works and you can see the water flowing in to the toilet everytime it flushes. It isn't like an American toilet - it is a little bit different - ANYWAY...you can see inside the tank because the back lid is broken in half...so what child can resist that? Well, not OURS. Apparently after the first visit, he had a thought and got the near empty bubble bottle and decided to see HOW empty it was. And there was enough in it to make quite a few bubble in the toilet tank which in turn made even MORE bubbles when you flushed. So, Zach cleaned his first toilet - unintentionally. We thought it was hysterical. I took a picture. I showed it to him the next morning...and he didn't know a thing about it. Let me tell you, it is easy to deny when you don't speak the same language...THAT will not last! But it was funny, anyway. On Sunday night he had to go to the bathroom about times before he gave up and went to sleep...and on that night he decided to dip a new roll of toilet paper into the back of the tank...I guess just to see what it would do. I tell you what Shelly - I am not allowing ANYONE to get him a squirt gun anytime soon. His mind is always working and he want to test everything.
He also likes the Bejeweled game on the computer - but not so much for the strategy - just for pushing every button on the computer. At one time, he had about 17 windows open. I told Vasya to tell him not to push all the buttons because he could break the computer...he responded, "I am not pushing a bunch of buttons" Uh huh. After this weekend, we have decided we have salt (Tyler) and pepper (Zach). Zach is our tester of limits, our pusher of buttons, our not defiant but not compliant one...Tyler is almost the opposite. I am sure they will both have their days - but this was how the weekend played out. All in all, though, it wasn't too much to handle...but we are tired! He got up sharply at 7:30 (no alarm) and told us "Dobre Ootra!" (Good morning) and made his bed quite neatly. He gave us hugs and kisses and then signaled that he was hungry and wanted to eat. He did this every morning he was here. They are both such great kids...we love them SO much. Soap bubbles in the toilet and all.
On Monday we had to take Zach back and then return to see Ty in a play. He was a bear and although we didn't understand what was going on, it was funny and he did great. We videotaped the play and we were like two proud, beaming parents. It was great - our first school play. Today (Tuesday) we have decided we are outgrowing the orphanage and tomorrow we are asking to take Ty for the whole day. Only 4 more days and they are ours FOREVER. We still have a hard time imagining that - it feels like we have been here forever. This whole thing will be much easier when we get home. And much more difficult, too, I am sure.
One thing we bought on Saturday was black-market videos on DVD with Russian dubbed in - and of course, they were glued to the computer screen. We have the equivalent of 26 full length cartoon (like Toy Story, Shrek and The Incredibles) on 3 DVD's. I am not one to want my kids glued to a TV...but it is about the ONLY thing we can have them do without being with them constantly. SOOO - for now, they are TV faces - and we are okay with it! They will have SO many changes hit them at once - the marathon movies will be a distant memory soon enough.
Tom says HE will blog tomorrow and HE will fill you in on the hinge story and the elevator story.
I will post a few pics and HOPE they come out!
Vissy0!

NINE...

2005-12-08T05:45:00.000-06:00

Sorry - no pics today - we forgot to bring the disk. We promise, we will try to get more on but believe me, it is SLOOOW going here!

Today we are taking it easy - Vasya took his car in for repairs and we are without it so we are walking around and looking in shops. They have a ton of "Second Hand" stores here with clothing. We found a jean jacket for one of the boys (probably Zach, the younger TALLER one!) and we have another one to go to across the street (THRIFT STORES IN UKRAINE!!!!). Don't worry, though, just clothes so I won't be coming home with a suitcase full of stuff for eBay!

We started our laundry in the tub this morning and got it all washed and ready to rinse when PFfffffffffffffftt blurp, blurp. That was the sound the faucet made when I turned it on. Yeah, the water is GONE. So, we have washed and unrinsed clothes sitting in the tub waiting. On the good side, we both took bathes before the laundry and we DID get to rinse so at least WE are clean.

Tom and I were talking as we walked down here and were recalling what the judge said to us. The LAST thing he said was "The boys will live with you FOREVER." Uhhhh. Forever? We were thinking college in about 9 or 10 years...FOREVER? Then again, that is kind of what has happened to my mom and dad - we couldn't live MUCH closer! And when we move, we are tasking them WITH us sooo - maybe forever isn't all that long!

Later this afternoon, (after Vasya gets his car) we will head to the orphanage to see Tyler. AND to repair a door that I RIPPED THE HINGES OFF OF (three of them...LONG STORY...not really but I choose not to embarass myself...). Today we will write another petition to take him for the weekend hours but we are also going to try to take him with us to see Zach on Friday. That should be fun. They have only seen each other for that short time at the court house (and they were already poking, pinching and pulling on each other!) and it might be nice for them to have some more time together. PLUS - I want to take a long ride with Ty and get to hug on him (yeah, I have ulterior motives). This week has gone quickly.

Please pray for the boys - they have a lot of changes coming up. Of course, pray for their hearts to hear THE message of Christ and His love. Pray that the next few days fly by. PRAY WE GET WATER!!! Zach will need another bath and clothing change by the time we see him on Friday! Pray for Vasya and his wife and son - Vasya has opened up a lot to us and...that is a family in need of the love of Christ. I have already told him that our family and church at home is praying for his family - pour it on. He and his family have had a lot of stressful things happen to them in the last year and a half (and they have only been married about that long). Vasya is a great guy and has been a huge help to us.

Tomorrow we will be up in Djoncoy so we probably won't post - but we will get another picture on here by Saturday! Love to you all!

Vissyo!

TEN....

2005-12-07T11:55:00.000-06:00

I have to tell you - it is like Christmas morning for us to get online at the internet cafe and see all the comments. What fun! And, it is so cool to see how God is working through all of you. We are SO thankful! It's funny, I read the comments and I can hear your specific voices when I read them - like you are talking to us!

Okay - so we are in the countdown and we are making plans. As you know, our boys don't speak English. They will learn, but we don't really want to wait for a couple of months to tell them about Jesus! Soooo - we have worked out an idea. We have a friend here who was our interpreter 11 years ago - and she works in children's ministry at Calvary Chapel Kiev...and she has talked with us and she will resent the whole gospel story to the boys when we get back to Kiev. Not only that, she will give them each their own Children's Bible in Russian as a gift from her.

So...now we have a HUGE thing for everyone to pray for. Pray that our boys are receptive to the love of Christ and that they GET it! We don't know how much they know (our guess is not much if ANYTHING) and we are pretty sure they don't understand unconditional love. Pray that this is the beginning of something beautiful for both of them (and for US!) We want these boys to be dedicated to Christ very early in their new lives - we want them to be able to see how God has had His hands all over this! That is our biggest prayer request yet - pray that our boys have soft hearts and accept Christ as their Savior.

And...you can imagine that we have had a little time on our hands...so I have had a little time to play in PhotoShop...these were taken at different times and in different locations - but aren't these beautiful (err...handsome...) boys!

Love and hugs to you all!
Vissyo!

The Fanelli Family

2005-12-06T10:05:00.000-06:00

As most of you know, today was our court date. Our documents came in at 11:20 on the train and our court time was 11:30. We got to the court house at...11:30 on the dot. When Tyler saw Zach, it was one happy reunion. The court was already in session for another American family, so we waited about 30 minutes. When it was our turn, we all filed in to the judges office (there were 16 of us I think!) and we went through the proceedings. Tom petitioned, they asked us a few questions, each of the education directors spoke, each of the orphanage directors spoke and then Tom petitioned again and we asked to change their names and then we stepped out while a decision was made (they had to have some time to type the official document). About 5 minutes later we were called back in and the judge read the decision (it was GOOD) and we are now in the 10 day waiting period. We pick up the boys and they are forever ours starting on December 16th. We still have a few days of paperwork after that but we will soon be on the downward side of the hill. And we will soon have two boys! And may we present...The Fanelli Family!!!
P.S. We found out today that our younger son...Zach - is about 2 inches taller than Tyler!!! Zach is on the left(in front of me), Ty is on the right (in front of Tom). Of course they are only 10 months apart - but Zach - who looked so small to us, is actually quite a bit bigger than his big brother (but, Tom says, Tyler is stronger!)

WOW!

2005-12-06T09:42:00.000-06:00

First let me tell you about yesterday and how God works. We went to see Ty about 3:30 in the afternoon - we were expecting our call from Kostya at 4 or so to let us know the paperwork was on its way to us via train from the AC. Tom and Ty started playing and I decided to sign on to AOL Instant Messenger on my cell phone to see if anyone was on - but it was early so I figured no one would be. I was wrong - Jenny Taylor was on at work. So I IMed her and we chatted for a bit. Then Vasya came in and told us that Kostya had our paperwork (YAY) but there was one missing stamp (BOOOO). I IMed Jenny and she got a group together at work and they started praying. Vasya started making phone calls and Kostya headed back to the AC to get the stamp we needed. Apparently, the prayer group had a direct line to God because within 10 minutes, Vasya came back in and told us that he had our appointment time with the judge switched from 10:00 to 11:30...and Kostya was going to have our corrected paper on the train that arrives in Simferopal at 11:08. Wow. Everything was rearranged that quickly and smoothly (and that was Zach and his entourage and Ty and his entourage all being switched, too). So - court was on, the paperwork was on its way and we FINALLY got to tell Ty that tomorrow - he gets to see his little brother. He was totally excited - it was great to see! Prayer works - and God is good!!!

Just want this waiting to be OVER...

2005-12-04T10:50:00.000-06:00

Okay, we took Tyler back about half an hour ago and you know what we feel like? We feel like a kid on Christmas night. All the packages that have been under the tree for a month and all the stuff there is to look forward to...is over. Yeah, we got to do cool stuff with Ty and we had a blast...but now it is back to reality. And we just want to KEEP him and not take him back. We are both a bit bummed. Well, actually, all three of us are. Tyler was very quiet and kept sighing heavily. We miss him already. We are pathetic.

Today we went downtown and ate at a cool restaurant that is decorated like an illustration from a story by a Ukrainian writer (not one I have heard of) - it looks like you are out in the country. Ty ordered what he wanted to eat which included green borscht (which is sans beets and cabbage), a beet salad, chicken Kiev and juice. We went to a couple stores downtown and bought some flash cards, an English/Russian dictionary (they speak Russian down in Crimea - NOT Ukrainian) and then a couple of fun books (Lion King mosaic sticker book and a a book full of graph paper and a pad of drawing paper). Then we went across the street to a store where we had spotted Hot Wheels and let him pick out 2 for him and 2 for his brother. THEN he started getting wide-eyed and started wanting balloons, markers, binoculars....He was fine when we told him no, but it was kind of funny - he only wanted ONE binocular... We told him we had balloons at home. So, we went home and he headed to the little store with papa to get ice cream (Hmmm, Grampa Smith, do you see a pattern you can continue with the new grandkids here???). When he got upstairs, he went right to the computer and wanted to play Bejeweled. I got it started for him and papa and he played for a while. Then we went through some flash cards and then he did a page in the mosaic Lion King book which I would have lost interest in about 2 minutes. Basically you are following numbered squares and putting stickers in each square according tot eh number and you end up making a mosaic-like picture. Like over 50 stickers about 1/2" by 1/2" and uh...slow. He did each one carefully. Impressive. More patience than his mother...imagine that! We got out the animal balloons and we all played with them (we made 2 dogs and the rest we inflated and deflated at each other). Papa and Ty played with the Hot Wheels (the one he got at McD's looks like he has played with it to DEATH! The tires are almost gone and it is one day old! He is also aware that it is one of a set...and is interested in the whole set (Don't know how we will work that! And what about his brother?!) We had him play on the computer in the kitchen while we cooked dinner and then we ate and...it was time to go. I am completely serious - we are depressed. My arms feel empty. I want my kids and I WANT THEM NOW!

Sooo - pray for us and pray for them. We are getting to the point of missing each other now. Pray those papers get here by Tuesday morning so we can start the final 10 day countdown. Keep praying for Vasya - he misses his family more the longer he is away. THANK YOU for all your prayers. We love you guys all so much.

Vissyo!

Beautiful Day!!!

2005-12-03T10:41:00.000-06:00

We had a GREAT day today. We picked Tyler up around noon and went to McDonald's first. I do believe that McDonald's changed the Happy Meals JUST for us because they were HOT WHEELS. There could NOT have been a better toy in the Happy Meal. Ty liked the car (which lights up) and ate his cheeseburger and fries and finished in a pretty good time. He then ate some of my fries and polished off Tom's Diet Coke. THEN we went SHOPPING. We have to buy both boys clothes but we actually get to have Tyler outside of the orphanage so we went to the worlds largest...uh...outdoor market? Flea market? It was a huge area set up with about 700 little kiosks about the size of our bathroom all of them selling something. We bought him a coat, socks, underwear, shoes, a couple of shirts and a pair of pants and pajamas. When Vasya went to put on his new socks to try on his new shoes he realized what we already knew...this boy needs a BATH! So after we got all of our name-brand black-market clothes (We got him a Columbia jacket for about $15) we headed for our flat. And we started boiling water for a warm bath (still no hot water here). We started to realize that this boy is not BIG and BEEFY at all - he had on SEVEN layers of clothes! He peeled them off and Tom did the bathing honors. He said Ty was a quick but efficient bather - he knows how to clean up quickly and completely. I got to bandage his knees and elbow (he is a pretty banged up kid!)Then we put on all his new clothes and went in to watch papa and Vasya making pizza. He had never HAD pizza before and he liked it - ate 3 pieces and salad and chip and a couple of glasses of Coke...then he was full...except for the ice cream that he knew was in the freezer for him. He had room for that!
We went to our room after dinner and he watched a couple of Pixar shorts on iPod and then he decided to get in to his MOTHER'S game...Bejeweled. He almost has it down (so watch out grandma and Fran - he will be a pro by the time we get home and will tell you what moves to make). I was thinking he had it down when he would make a wrong move but then he would figure it out eventually - he was catching on pretty quickly. His eyes got tired, so we quit the game, he watched another Pixar short and then he just laid back and rested on me...ahhhh. I liked that - no - I LOVED that. Tom and I are completely in love with him. The only thing we are missing is his brother. This is a new thing for both of us - and we are enjoying every minute of it. Maybe SOMEDAY we won't want to have him just sit with us and do nothing - but I doubt it. It was a GREAT day. We didn't want to take him back, but had to return him by 6:30. So...we did. He carried his 3 bags of dirty clothes back with him and gave us hugs...it would have been very sad except for the best part. We get to do it again TOMORROW! What a fantastic Sunday it will be - we plan on just hanging out at the flat. We are LOVING this parent/child thing.

Vissyo!

Happy December!

2005-12-01T09:37:00.000-06:00

Okay, first things first - I must have mentioned Michael somewhere along the lines and I intentionally did NOT use their names right now so as NOT to confuse anyone...But, hey - I GOT CONFUSED! Okay - so here is the deal...Tyler is Tyler Michael - his birthname is Mikhail - and he is called Misha. We call him Misha, too - because, well...that is his NAME...for NOW. But when we got to court (hopefully next Tuesday) his name will be legally changed to Tyler Michael Fanelli. So - you don't need to remember his middle name! Zach is actually named Eduard. He is called "Edik" which sounds like Eric and since we have one Ed in the family, We are switching his middle name to "Eric" - so HIS name will be Zachary Eric Fanelli. Did I clear up the confusion? Hope so!

We are officially "set" with a court date on next Tuesday. That means that as long as the Adoption Center gets all of our paperwork back by next Tuesday morning, we are good to go. We get done with court and then we count down 10 days in Simferopal. Then we count down another 5 between getting their new passports and getting their VISAs from the US Embassy and their medical clearances...and THEN we hope we can get a flight outta here!!! It will be, of course, the busiest possible time for us to fly. We don't care if we come in on Christmas Day - WE WANT TO COME HOME!!!

We meet with the judge tomorrow for our first appointment - no idea why - we just do. Then next Tuesday, we have our court day with the judge, the 2 jurors (which aren't anything like our jurors) and the boys and their caretakers and us and Vasya...should be quite a crowd.

Tonight we went to see Tyler. I think he may be the snuggler of the two. It is hard to tell at this point but he seems a little more huggy than Zach. Of course...that may change the next time we talk to Zach. We had a good time with Tyler - only about an hour and a half but we made paper airplanes and tossed around balls and daddy drew with him again (Tom is getting to be quite the artist!). He still seems to be very IN to figuring out how things work. He also seems to struggle more with the language (English) than Zach. He just isn't as interested which will be quite a rude awakening to him when he hits the ground in Chicago and doesn't have Vasya there to interpret for him! I am still falling in love with these guys more each time I am with them. I am so ready to get them home (not to mention give them a nice warm bath with a lot of SOAP!!!) Of course that won't happen here in Simferopal because today, not only do we not have HOT water - we have NO water. It has been off all day. We HOPE it is on when we get back...but it wouldn't surprise me a bit if it wasn't.

We have found the other internet cafe that is about a mile from home. We will be walking here and hopefully we can post more often (today it is raining and Vasya drove us). We tried out one other and had no success doing anything so...this is the closet one that works!

Prayers...we can use them! And we appreciate them. Pray for the paperwork still - we need it by Tuesday a.m. at the very latest. Pray that things go well with the judge (they OUGHT to - his "expediting fees" are pretty high). Pray that the money holds out - so far, it is. We know we have at least $1000 worth of costs for the US Embassy and another $500 each for the orphanages. It will be close, but hopefully, it will be fine. Pray for Vasya - he talked to us a bit more last night and his baby turned 4 months old on the 30th. His wife and son had a hard time the last 2 months of her pregnancy and his son has some problems and has to see the doctor every month. Of course since he is here with us, he isn't there with them and you can imagine, that would be tough. He is a great guy - and he misses his wife and son.

Vissyo!

QUICK update!

2005-11-30T10:59:00.000-06:00

Hi all!

Tonight, Vasya, Tom and I went out for Turkish food here in Simferopal. We were celebrating! Our completed paperwork left tonight on a train bound for Kiev back to the AC for finalization. Vasya will get our appointment for court tomorrow and hopefully we get the paperwork back in time for our court appointment. If we don't...we get another appointment, but, well...time is a wastin'! Vasya has done a great job and has been very busy the last few days. We have been passive participants...sign here, here, here and here...he has done the rest.

What it all means is that we MAY have our court appointment next Tuesday. Hopefully our paperwork comes back Monday. Then court Tuesday, the 10 days of waiting...we will NOT be with the boys for those 10 days. They will be at their orphanages waiting...we will be at our flat doing the same. We can see them for an hour or two each day but it costs us $60 to make the trip to Djoncoy to see Zach...and about $35 to see Michael...so as much as we would like to see them every day, it isn't going to happen.

We spent about 6 hours with Zach yesterday while paperwork was being shuffled around. Six hours, small room, few toys, small boy, big parents...it was "interesting" to say the least. I thought Zach did WONDERFUL - if I were him, I wouldn't have lasted that long with us! He did great. But it was a LONG day!

Still no hot water in the flat - I just don't think it is going to happen! AND - since someday it is going to get cold here, they have decide to ration power (don't ask me to explain it - it just IS). So - our elevator turns off at 5 until 10 p.m. So, we get to climb 7 stories. Good exercise!

Vasya tells us there is an internet cafe closer to our flat that we can walk to - if it proves to be true, we will be able to post more often. We should know tomorrow!

Pray for the kids - they have some huge adjustments coming up. And they still have a long time to wait. Pray for us - we are ready to come home...we are and so is Vasya. Pray for him, he misses his family. Pray the paperwork goes exactly as it should and that it comes back by next Monday and we have court on Tuesday (any other day and we have a weekend and we can't get the boys on a weekend).

Vissyo!

Try these

2005-11-26T16:27:00.000-06:00

Hi Folks - I'm posting a brief for L and T. We have had the opportunity to speak with both of them a couple times over the past few days. These are additional links to try to see another picture of Zach AND a couple of pics of Tyler. I don't remember which of these links wouldn't work for me... so there are several and may be duplicates! The boys are beautiful! They indeed have eyes that deep and beautiful blue blue blue. They both also have sweet smiles. They did get to spend time with Tyler today, and hope to have the paperwork going in on Monday to begin the official process. They will then probably be spending more time with Tyler than with Zach due to the distance between the two places, until the time they will be able to bring them with them for the final 10 days or so before they leave, and can begin to grow together as a family. And I will repeat what has been said before, please continue to pray for their family, & for the means to be able to achieve what needs to be done there (fondly referred to by me as the 2L5F prayer!!). We had a houseful yesterday and today (26 peoples including my folks at the elder end of things, and my newest grandsons who are 6 weeks and 5 months.) I put Tom on speakerfone yesterday and we all shouted greetings.

Thank you all for the prayers, thoughts, and comments. They have both told me that they could really feel people praying for them.

Fran (Lois' oldest, Wisest and Cutest sister!!! hehehe couldn't resist!! Of course, she'd emphasize the OLDEST part!)

each of these are at www.viewmymessage.com

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Little bits of broken hearts

2005-11-26T11:05:00.000-06:00

Today we got to see Tyler. He was outside when we got there and when they found out we were there, they made him come inside and change his clothes. Since it is the weekend, he wasn't allowed to leave (no one had been told anything apparently). We had the perimeter we could walk. We also has Vasya to interpret and that was a first - we have been going it alone with Zach. Ty and Vasya talked - well, Ty talked and Vasya listened. Ty talked about his mother, his father, the boyfriends, grandma and generally about the not so great life he had. He also told us that Zach was moved to another orphanage because he was getting beaten up by older kids and was acting out because of it (can't blame him there!) anyway, you get the idea - these boys have had a rough life to this point.

Please pray that they can learn to trust again and that they can be little boys. Ty strikes me as knowing too much responsibility for his 9 years. He told us he was responsible for his little brother before they were in the orphanage and in the orphanage, too. Pray that we get this all in one court - it could cost a lot more, but in the long run, would be worth it. Pray for Tom and I - this is a lot of heart-wrenching stuff to have to hear and not be able to do anything with. It just IS.

Thank you for your prayers - keep em coming!

Vissyo!

Internet Cafe

2005-11-25T04:04:00.000-06:00

Hi ALL! Vasya found us an internet cafe and I have about 5 minutes to update. Things are going great - Vasya thinks that we will be able to get the court in ONE court instead of two - that is good news. Money is tight but we are looking for 5 loaves and 2 fishes...and we aren't talking about the book store in Danville!

Both boys are beautiful (Tom says "handsome" would be a better description but...I say they are beautiful!) They have gorgeous blue eyes and wonderful smiles and...I am in love. We have had more time with Zach than with Ty but we will eventually have more time with Ty because he is closer (Zach is about an hour away).

Everything is going great - lots of official stuff that we just sign after Vasya explains it - he has a lot more work to do than we do. We are kind of just along for the ride and for the passports!

For now - Vissyo!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

2005-11-24T12:55:00.000-06:00

Greetings from Kiev. I (Janis) am updating the blog for Tom and Lois, as they are currently in Simferopol and have no phone in their flat (apartment) or access to internet.

This has been a VERY Happy Thanksgiving day for Tom and Lois, even without the turkey. They have found their kids!! Yesterday they met Zachary (the youngest). Today they met Tyler. Tyler was very scared when he first met Tom and Lois because he wasn't really told who they were and why they were visiting. Tom and Lois are hoping that he will feel more at ease when they spend time with him tomorrow.

After visiting Tyler, Tom and Lois went back to the orphanage in Zhon Koy where Zachary is. (Please forgive the spelling.) They were able to start the adoption paperwork process for him today. Zachary had to write his own letter requesting that he be adopted. He was given the wording of what to write. (Apparently children from the first grade and above are required to do this.) One big blessing for today--while the interpreter and the orphanage personnel were working on the paperwork, Tom and Lois got to play with Zachary--almost 1 1/2 hours. They had forgotten to bring toys, so all they had was a pencil and paper, but it was great nonetheless.

Pictures have been taken, but unfortunately Tom and Lois have no way to get them posted on their blog yet. Lois said that both boys have pretty blue eyes. Pray!!! I want to see what the boys look like, as I am sure you all do too.

Other specific prayer requests--
Pray that the money holds out. It is during this phase that the money starts flowing--especially if you want the paperwork expedited.

Also, pray that they will be able to get one court hearing instead of two. Since the boys are in different orphanages, they are under the jurisdiction of different courts. They are praying that the judges will allow them to be processed together. Otherwise, they will have to pay twice as much for the paperwork processing. And, lastly, that everyone will work together to get the adoption completed quickly.

And--if some of you are wondering what they ate for their Thanksgiving dinner--jerky (instead of turkey), cheese, and bread. Now doesn't that sound yummy!!

May I add the following--thank you for your prayers and words of encouragement. It has meant an awful lot to them.

On the road again...

2005-11-22T15:16:00.000-06:00

Yeah, nothing like Willy Nelson to sum up the feeling...I just can't wait to get on the road again.....

We leave in about 4 1/2 hours. I still need to pack up the computer and double check that we have what we need. Tom has the clothes packed and is sawing logs (but then Tom has to stay awake and entertain Vasya!)

Everything went fine at the AC. It was nice to be there and not feel like the sky was falling. I actually FOUND the bathroom there (for those of you who are planning to adopt here, you climb 4 sets of stairs to get to the AC...to go to the bathroom, you go down the only set of stairs you can go down when you walk in the building...men to the left, woman to the right. They are lovely squatty pots so bring your own TP ...but at least they HAVE one that is public and AVAILABLE!!!) We got our paperwork and were out of there in less than half an hour. Vasya and Kostya did some phone calling and got us a flat in Simferopal. I HOPE we can get connected to the internet at our flat. If not, it's the Internet Cafe's for us.

So, Kostya picked us up around 2:30 to go get our paperwork and we drive in to the city...and got stuck in massive amounts of traffic. Today was the one-year anniversary of the Orange Revolution. There was one street full of people covered in orange clothing...apparently walking to another street to meet the people dressed in blue (the other party) or red (the communist party). Kostya is NOT political...and basically said "Ah, yes, this revolution causes problems for all of us...even those not involved!" He got us turned around and went another way...he was going to take something and drop it off to a translator if we had time but with that delay, he didn't have time. He dropped us off and we went to the AC and got there about 4 (yeah - traffic was that bad). You really notice how the color and light level change at the top of the stairs when you are going there for a good thing...I heard the angels as I approached the top "AAAAAHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh...." and we went up and waited for about 20 minutes in the little sitting area, another 10 in the Scooby Doo hall and then we went in, signed the thing that said we understood it was free and report anyone who asks for money (again) and then they took Tom's passport, had him sign and we were done. The man helping us said (in English) "thank you and very good luck to you." We FEEL lucky. This is going to be awesome.

We were asking Kostya about how long this will take and HE says we will usher in the New Year in Kiev. Oh. Wow. Vasya does not agree. Either that or Vasya hopes not because he want to be with his wife and baby!!! Well, I hope not too. But if we are, we are! (But I hope we aren't!!!)

Well, I must pack up the old laptop and head South...and here is what we have been told might happen and a few things to pray for until we meet again on Thursday;

Please pray for safe travel, that we can meet both boys on Thanksgiving Day for us(TALK ABOUT A WHOLE NEW MEANING TO THAT DAY!). Pray that the judges and directors and all the official people involved with this will work quickly and pray that we CAN be home before 2006! I think I am catching cold (I am megadosing vitamin C for what it is worth)and a sore throat - please pray for my health - I don't want to be sick and snotty on Thursday!!! THANK YOU, AGAIN!!! We love you and we will update as soon as we can!

Vissyo!

I think I'm on the brink of something LARGE...

2005-11-22T02:56:00.000-06:00

After a long nights sleep, we are up and ready to...get ready to go. We are repacking for about the 5th time and we want to take fewer bags of stuff. But this time we actually NEED the suitcase full of toys (and you know what...that suitcase has a LOT more cars and boy-toys than girl stuff. It has been hard for me to say good-bye to the possibility of a girl, let alone saying good-bye to younger children...but like so much else here, it is what it is and if this is my family, this is my family. But I have to tell you, the thought of being the minority in my own house is frightening!!!! I know Reta and Anita are used to it...but I am from a family of three GIRLS. With us and mom, WE RULED THE HOUSE!!! My father ALWAYS puts the toilet seat down! So...that will be an adjustment! But, I will have two wonderful boys, Tom will have kids to take golfing and to watch AND play basketball...and of course there is always NASCAR! THIS is what God had planned for us - WOW. Two boys...no, three boys and ME. Scraped knees, ROCK FIGHTS (yeah, Geordie THAT made me feel better!!!!), and visions of ink-filled squirt guns (right, Shelly!?), I can do this...really, I can!

I am kind of getting excited now (and I know it will get much worse after 14 hours in a car - those are very small walls to climb!!!)

We want to thank you ALL for all the prayers (we aren't asking for you to quit, though) - it has been awesome to read the responses and to know that we have so many praying for us...it is a wonderful thing to be a part of. Spaseeba Bolshoy! We love you guys so much - and we know you will love our boys, too.

The NEXT picture you see of two boys will be of our boys...THIS is a picture of our two "boy wonder's" - Vasya and Kostya. I took this while we were at the Ukrainian cafeteria yesterday (if you sniff in hard, you can still smell my fishy salad). Vasya is on the left and Kostya is on the right. You know have a picture of two people that need our prayers for various reasons! Kostya stays in Kiev to do all the running around and paperwork that has to be done here. Vasya is driving us to Simferopal and is, of course, our interpreter. He MAY have twice as much work to do. Vasya has a 3 month old baby boy and a wife that he will be away from as long as he is with us. He took his wife and son to her mother's this past weekend..and he already misses them!

Pray for Kostya and Vasya as they do all the behind the scenes official work. Pray that we can get the orphanage to move one of the boys back to the other region (half as much court time and travel) and pray that all goes smoothly. Pray for our boys - they will have a HUGE adjustment ahead of them. As much as it will be a change for all of us, they are just little boys. How scary would this be! We will get the measurements and all that as soon as we get them. I may post from here one more time before we head out at 4 a.m. but we will be without internet for a while...so keep checking on us, but be patient. You have an official blog break from 4 a.m. tomorrow morning until probably Thursday night (you do the math and figure out what time that is BACK THERE!)

Vissyo!

Can I breathe yet???

2005-11-21T10:56:00.000-06:00

Well, let me just say that the whole Adoption Center experience is...well, it makes your insides feel like old, dead, dried leaves spun together with dehydrated, overcooked spaghetti. You feel fragile, brittle and messed up. I woke up feeling sick to my stomach (and could tell it was nerves) and I got worse as we got closer to the AC. Tom, of course, felt as cool as a cucumber. He was feeling good about today from the second he awoke. Many humorous things happened today - comic relief, I guess!

Kostya picked us up at 9:45 for our 11:00 appointment. We were doing pretty good until Kostya let out a gasp and explained that he was very low on gas...then he added, "but NO problem, if I run out, I have someone to push, right Tom?" He was, of course, kidding! We made it to the gas station and handed Tom a wad of money and said, "Tom, tell him Izvaneetya, prezhalsta...blah,blah,blah, blah..."(something quite long and Ukrainian.) HA! I laughed out loud on that one - I said I THINK Tom can get the Izvaneetya prezhalsta (which is "excuse me please") and Tom looked at him laughing and took the money and hung it out the window until the man came over. Kostya did the talking!

We got the gas and got to the AC at 10:45. We walked up the 4 flights of stairs and I noticed something interesting today. The part of the AC we deal with is the top floor (who knows what the other floors are - ). The halls are dark and painted grey and are just kind of institutional looking. As you reach the last 2 flights of stairs, suddenly the color changes to a light green and there is light shining. Like a special effect in a movie or something. You kind of expect to hear angels singing "Ahhhhhhhhhhh" as you round the corner. Instead you round the corner and land on the top level with a bunch of other people waiting to get in and their interpreters. All of us looking a little whipped and beaten...and SCARED. Today was Italian day. There was at least 3 Italian families waiting to go in. We sized up the competition (that is what it feels like!) and Tom said he thought he could probably take the guys. (again, some comic relief because I was about ready to climb the walls and we were ON the top floor so I'd have to go out to the roof). At 11:00, they called the 10:30 appointment in. Uhhhh. Hmmmm. At about 11:45 they called us in to sit in what must be the famous "Scooby Doo" hall which we weren't in for long the first time. (Scooby Doo because of the way people go in and out of the doors like in the cartoon when they are chasing or being chased). It is unbelievable - the same 6 or 7 people constantly going in and out of 3 doors over and over again. WHAT are they doing??? We sat in that hallway for about half an hour. So it is now 12:15 and they take lunch at 1.

Of course the next hour flies by. I told Janis that I think those books are like trying on perfume. Once you try on 3 or 4 perfumes, everything smells the same and you can't tell one from the other. I mean imagine a double sided paper with about 6 official stamps, and 1 inch by 1 inch picture and the rest Ukrainian writing and you re supposed to look at it and say "YES!!! THIS is my forever child, I just KNOW it!!!" You have so little to go on. Their age. A tiny medical diagnosis. An outdated picture that you often can't tell boys from girls. And from this you're supposed to commit to go and see them and really, to adopt them. Because those second and third appointments are very hard to get! So, in a sense, you are making a final decision based on so very little...it just leaves me feeling...numb.

We had a different social worker (Oksana - and she was much more helpful). Kostya said that she has worked there a long time and knows what she is doing. Apparently, the first Razor Phone woman had worked there about 2 months. Kostya was able to stay this time and he seems to have a good repoir with Oksana. So, the four of us sat down and started looking. Oksana asked what we were looking for, we told her and she said in Ukrainian, "I can work with you."

She handed Kostya two pages and the rest of us started flipping through books. We did the same thing (but the book WAS a different one) and we pulled out things and had things returned to the books due to various reasons. We got closer to the HOUR of decision and were down to two different groups of boys. The original one she had pulled out and one Kostya had found in the Simferopal region book. The one set had the younger one with congenital heart problems (uhhhh, could you be a little more specific??) The other two had a mostly healthy diagnosis. They have minor problems that are correctable...except one has behavior problems. They are in two different orphanages because of that. I am now doing the imitation of the robot on Lost In Space "DANGER!DANGER, Will Robinson, DANGER!" Tom is cool with it. Oksana couldn't get ahold of the director so she tells us to come back at 3. Okay.

Lunch Time. I think Vasya thought a good Ukrainian cafeteria would be ideal - he told us "then you can see and choose what you want." Uh, yeah Vasya - if we KNEW what it was we were looking at! I had the chicken that looked like a fried egg and some salad that I THOUGHT looked like the stuff I had last week. I took a big bite and found that it was similar...except for the layer of fishy, fishy FISH on the bottom. I didn't finish it. Kostya asked me "Do the issues scare you?" Tom, no - me, YES. I think Tom would have loved it if I had turned to him and said, "I feel exactly like you do - peace." Instead, I was more like "Uh, if the "behavior" issues are bad enough to write down...uh..." So here we are, Mr. Serenity and Mrs. Skeptic. We sat there for a while and then returned to the AC and tried calling more people.

Okay, more comic relief. It snowed last night and people walked on it all day making a nice Kievan layer of ice (that women in spiked heels can walk in without problems). We walked back to the AC and Kostya and Vasya were about 3 yards in front of us. I was holding on to Tom and thinking man it is slick out here when WOOOOOOSH...AAAAUggghhh! I let out a scream and down I go. Vasya and Kostya didn't hear or see me and just continued to walk on...Tom picks me up off the ground, we wipe off and continue as if nothing has happened. I MEANT to do that. I know they woud have freaked out if they HAD seen, so it was kinda nice (AND LESS EMBARRASSING) that they didn't. I didn't get dirty or wet and I am not injured - it was just so funny to watch them continue to walk to the AC as if we were right behind them and I was splayed all over the sidewalk!!!

Vasya had to make about 9 calls to finally get somewhere - they tranferred the youngest one to a specialized school due to his behavioral problems for one year. But that school/orphanage said that he was at the top of his class (first grade) and had given them no problems. He was intelligent and bright and his behavior would be the responsibility of his new parents. He would fit in to any family very well. The other boy (2nd grade) was fine, friendly and gets along well with his brother. So then we had to decide - do we want to try to get brothers in different orphanages? It costs more and takes more time. Uhhh - YOU MUST DECIDE TOM AND LOIS.... Okay, at least Tom has peace so yes, we will go. We are going to Simferopal and a place 45 miles away to see the boys. We will probably see both boys on Thanksgiving - how cool is that?

So....it's A BOY. And another BOY! They are 8 and 9 and unless we get down there and there is something seriously wrong with them, I think we have our kids!

Pray for us all - we have a 14 hour trip to Simferopal (and we thought we were going to miss the drive to Pennsylvania for Thanksgiving! It's about the same distance!). We have two of everything to deal with - two orphanages, two directors, etc. It MAY be possible to get the other boy transferred back to the other region to complete the adoption...maybe. It is something we have to work out there. Pray for that. Pray that we "click" with them and they with us. Now starts the odd stuff - getting to know our new babies that are not BABIES. Pray that they will bond to us and they will want to be loved (it's a problem with orphans). Pray for safe travel (Vasya is driving us instead of taking the train and then trying to figure out how to get a taxi back and forth to the other orphanage). Pray that our money holds (two regions doubles the cost of paperwork and legal fees). Sheesh - I don't know. JUST pray!

Vissyo!

Here it comes...

2005-11-21T01:29:00.000-06:00

Tom here...

I have gotten to love the David Crowder song - A Beautiful Collision. It is a wonderful worship CD - if you don't own it... you should.

We are just about ready to picked up for our appointment. Thanks in advance for all your prayers. We love you and feel the Lord's presence.

Next post... I pray will be great news.

Love,

Tom and Lois

Sunday again!

2005-11-20T12:56:00.000-06:00

Did church with Randy and Janis and then we went for...PIZZA at Vesuvio's (our third time!) I have eaten pizza more since I have been here than I ever would have at home! That and regular Coke - I think I have had 2 "Coke Light's" since I got here (and they don't have Diet Coke w/Lime or Coke Zero!!!). I must say, it is good pizza! We also went to the main Renok (which is much cleaner and nicer than I remember it!).

There I found the lovely bouquet of fish...waiting for purchase - buy one, buy a dozen!

Across the street is a familiar site...TGIFridays' in Kiev!

TOMORROW...is the appointment. We are nervous, excited, scared, freaked out...wondering what is going to happen. We will be glad when tomorrow morning is over! The next post from us will be SOME news - we can tell you where we are going, when and who we are looking at. Pray that it is two children. I'd still like twins around 5 or 6 but...I'm beginning to wonder if that is too young. So I will stop wondering and we will just SEE WHAT HAPPENS!!!!

For those of you crazy, devoted people who are getting up at 3 a.m. to pray for us, THANK you! Please make a comment so I know you were here when we get back - that will be so cool. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You make us proud to be a part of your family!

Vissyo!

Tourists!

2005-11-19T14:33:00.000-06:00

Well, yesterday was beautiful and the sun shined so we decided to be tourists today and check out the sites...and it snowed ALL day!!! It was cold, wet, and we had a great day anyway. Not a lot that will get us down at this point, I don't think!

We spent the day with Sasha and went to St. Andrew's and St. Sofia's - this pic is St. Sofia's bell tower...or today...St. SNOWfia.

We went in to St. Andrew's and down the decent (which is tourist central). St. Andrew's is a beautiful church - LOVE the architecture here. We ate lunch at a Ukrainian buffet! Called Home Cooking (but in Ukrainian) and it was ALL Ukrainian food. It was delicious (we stayed pretty safe with Chicken Kiev again!).

We CLIMBED the bell tower in the pic...it got kinda scary 2/3rds of the way up...windy, wet, cold and, uh...high! We chose to not go the last tier...the weather was bad enough you couldn't see much...and...it was SCARY!

Vissyo!

GREAT PICS but GREATER NEWS!!!

2005-11-18T17:14:00.000-06:00

Make sure you read the post earlier - couldn't get the pics to post on that!

And THEN you know what happened???

2005-11-18T16:23:00.000-06:00

We had a great day today. We woke up to the sun shining (it hasn't since we got here) and we had plans to visit with Sasha all day. We did the Kiev Shuffle (marshutka, metro, switch over to other line metro, marshutka and walk) and got to her house right about lunch time. She served us lunch and then asked us if we wanted to go to a big store like Wal-Mart. SURE. Why not? We walked for about 25 minutes and came across two stores - one called Epicenter and one called Metro. Epicenter is like a Home Depot/Lowe's - we didn't go in because we weren't looking to build anything (we kinda TIRED of building with the speed remodeling we did before we left). We went in to Metro. It is more like Sam's Club/Costco than Wal-Mart. You have to have a card to get in (although Sasha says it doesn't cost anything) and it really was like Sam's. They had Christmas stuff out (even the giant inflatable trees and Santa's) and everything you could think of like curling irons, electric teapots, shower stalls (like jacuzzi type with 6 shower heads) and fresh fruit and meant - uh, did I mention it was like Sam's? Most interesting thing I found? Lychee nut - fresh on the stem. (ok - it's a Japanese fruit and I love them but in the US you can usually find them canned except every once in a blue moon when Meijer's has them fresh). Here they had them still on the stem, about 12 -15 fruits and...the equivalent cost of about $25...!!! We did NOT buy them. Sasha wondered if perhaps they were gold on the inside. Outrageous price - but who would have thought you would find them in Kiev! So we had a good time looking around and found a couple of girls handing out samples in "cute" outfits and Tom said TAKE A PICTURE...so I made him get IN the picture but if you look, you can see...it looks like....Sam's Club!

We went back to Sasha's and had dinner (we eat a LOT here) and had torte (fantastic - nothing is the US to even compare it to) and had a great time of conversation. Aside from just being able to hang out with Randy and Janis and feel like we are at home in their home, this was the most relaxed and enjoyable time we had. It felt like we were 10 years younger and we just enjoyed out time hanging out with Sasha again. We made plans to go to Andreiski Spus (St. Andrew's Descent I believe) tomorrow (to see the one church we never got to see 11 years ago).

Oh, and did I mention that Kostya called while we were there and talking about the whole adoption process with Sasha and talking about God being in control and wondering about it all? Well, HE DID. He said "Lois, I have good news - you have an appointment at the AC on Monday at 11:30." WOW! How did you do that? Thursday it is "eeehhhh...nothing is going on this week." and Friday it is "uh, Lois and Tom, really - nothing is going on until next week - everyone is gone..." and today it is "Monday at 11!" We are very excited.

Sooo - time to switch gears in the prayer department. We need prayer that THIS time it will be a good appointment and it will be a good referral - no surprises, no tearing through the book to have everything taken back - we want success this time. I can not imagine what would happen if we got a second appointment, a bad referral and then asked for another - it would not be good. So pray that this all works out for us. Kostya said, "You are good people and God is smiling on you." Well, we are God's people - and today we not only felt the sun, we felt the SON! It was a GOOD day!

Reality and Perspective SMASH in to each other once again...

2005-11-17T05:44:00.000-06:00

It is 5 a.m. in Illinois. You are all sleeping (I would hope!). It is 1 p.m. here and the day has not been uneventful.

Randy and Janis have an interpreter named Ira and Ira's father has been ill with kidney cancer for quite some time. Last Sunday, we knew he was in the hospital. Randy called to talk to Ira last night and found that they had sent him home to die. This morning, Randy and Janis packed up some food and went to see Ira and her family. They arrived a few minutes after her father had passed away. Ira's father was not a Christian - he had his own way and his own opinion. He wasn't interested in his daughter's "religion."

So...while we are enduring what seems like an eternity of not knowing what is going on in OUR lives, Ira has to deal with the fact that her father has died without Christ. I thank GOD and praise Him that I do not have to worry about my parents and their eternal destination. What a difficult thing that would be to have to go through. Pray for Ira and for her mother (who is also not Christian). Ira IS Christian and she will make it through this - but it will be a rough road for a while.

Vasya called and kind of updated us with a more English version of what Kostya told us yesterday. Apparently the AC director..has LEFT the building. She is (as Vasya put it) "on leave" or "taking a Holiday" or "is abroad." Take your choice - she isn't here and she isn't taking appointments! He also told us that Kostya has another family that took a referral - they were looking for a girl under 5 and took a referral for a boy aged 10. I thought we were pretty broad with our requests. We wanted boys or girls from 2 to 8...we MAY end up coming home with a teenager!!! (oh, please, gimme a few years before the hormones hit!!!). I am not sure why Vasya informed me of this - perhaps to get it in our heads that we have to think even broader than we have been.

Eeeh. I just wish it were all clearer. I want what God wants for us...I just don't have any idea what that is. And you may thing "Oh you will KNOW it when you see them..." but it isn't coming through to us that way. It isn't nice and clean. With Vanya and Dima it was kind of a sick acknowledgement that these weren't our kids. I just don't know.

But...I DO know where my hope comes from - even if I am not feeling very hopeful... I know who is in control. I know it isn't me. Thank God for that. And I know it isn't the director of the AC. And I thank God for that, too.

And as they say here - "Vissyo." or "That's all"

Some pics...

2005-11-16T17:22:00.000-06:00

Since we don't have any new "news" I thought I would give you a taste of Kiev...

Us and the Ukrainian flags downtown...

Bread, eggs and fish...what more do we need?

Perhaps a friendly street vendor...

I know I told you that McD's was everywhere...

but did you know they had a Napa Auto Parts, too?

It's TRUE Steve...okay, not really.

More tomorrow!

It's gonna be a sloooow week.

2005-11-16T08:53:00.000-06:00

Well, to start of with the good, Randy is back from Nepal. A missionary in Ukraine on a mission trip to Nepal - pretty cool. He did a conference for pastors in Nepal and had a wonderful time of sharing. It appears the Christian people of Nepal are hungry and eager for God. He had some great pictures and it was so good to see him. We are thanking God that he returned here safely.

Another thing on my mind is James Boateng. I hope he is doing better - I heard he was in the hospital. If ever there was a man who deserves to be visited by a million well-wishers, it would be James. I hope he is on his feet and out doing God's work again very soon. We are praying for him.

Well, we called Kostya and got some not so great news. It isn't the worst news, but it isn't great either. Apparently there are many people here trying to get their second appointments. Apparently things are kind of a mess at the AC right now. Apparently...they aren't taking appointments for ANYTHING this week. Not for the books and not the AC director. I guess that is one way to avoid problems...JUST SAY NO. Kostya said things are very, very difficult right now but he is still trying. Heavy, heavy sigh. I have visions of being here for another week, starting in on Tom's FMLA and then...being told to GO HOME and come back in a few months. As you can imagine, it is pretty easy to get depressed and down about anything. Here, no news is...no news. And when we asked for news, it was bad.

I don't know what more we can ask for - more prayer? Prayer that we get in before all the other desperate parents-in-waiting? None of it is fair and none of it makes sense. Tom has done some math and the estimated figures of the orphans in Ukraine is 100,000 (from the figures found in a documentary). If only half are registered, then we have 50,000. Say half of them are way to ill - we are down to 25,000. And we saw papers on about 250. WHERE are the children?

So. I don't know what to do with my self. I guess I will post some pictures. Later.

Keep on praying - it feels like it's gonna take a miracle.

Some thoughts...

2005-11-15T12:17:00.000-06:00

Hello!

If you haven't figured it out yet... Lois has done all the postings up to this point. It wasn't that I didn't have anything to say, but she said it for me. I have been thinking of a few things and wanted to share some of my thoughts with you.

ADOPTION...
There is tons of paperwork and as difficult as the paperwork was to complete the first time - the second time was much easier! We had our problems, but nothing was as difficult as looking at those books and trying to pick your children. I don't know if you could ever feel the same thing Lois and I felt... you would have to live it yourself. Then the trip to see the boys... it still brings a lump into my throat and a tear to my eye! Maybe the most difficult thing I've ever had to do?

You know as Christians the Bible says we are adopted into God's family... we are grafted in! We are not a part of the chosen people, but we are now! I don't feel adopted - that's because my Father has done such a good job! You know I want my kids never to feel like they are adopted... they will be my kids and I hope they know the love I feel for them is genuine.

FAMILY...
You know I've always thought as Lois and I as a couple - not a family. The truth is once you become a Christian you enter the family of God. The church is much bigger than just the church we belong - Second Church of Christ. People here in Kiev are praying for us... we had people in Nepal praying for us and we have people in the States praying for us... we are fortunate to have so many people love us! I can tell you that I have felt your love and I am thankful for being a part of your family. I pray that one day Lois and I will have children and we can teach them what FAMILY is all about!

SERVING...
I have been spending a fair amount of time reading a Rob Bell book called, "Velvet Elvis." If you haven't read it - I highly recommend it! Rob Bell is the pastor of Mars Hill church in Grand Rapids, MI and it is one of the fastest growing churches in American history... he was 28 years old when he started it and had over 1000 people at the first service. BTW, there was NO advertising the first service - there wasn't even a sign out front of the building. Two years later his church has over 10,000 members! He is doing something right! I tell you this not to impress you - just to let you know that he has been effective... or should I say, God has been effective through him!

I have been moved by his writing and completed his book just yesterday. I'd like to share a few quotes with you... "The church is at its best when it gives itself away." Wow! Can I tell you that is a powerful statement? Well, it is!!! I have felt the love of the church since I have been here and I can tell you it makes me proud to be a believer! People praying for us and crying with us... you are giving and we have received! This idea continues with another quote, " The church doesn't exist for itself; it exists to serve the world. It is not ultimately about the church; it's about all the people God wants to bless through the church. When the church loses sight of this, it loses it heart. This is especially true in the world we live in where so many people are hostile to the church, many for a good reason. We reclaim the church as a blessing machine not only because that is what Jesus intended from the beginning but also because serving people is the only way their perceptions of the church are ever going to change. This is why it is so toxic for the gospel when Christians picket and boycott and complain about how bad the world is. This behavior doesn't help. It makes it worse. It isn't the kind of voice Jesus wants his followers to have in the world. Why blame the dark for being dark? It is far more helpful to ask why the light isn't as bright as it could be."

You are shining bright!

We love you and could not do this on our own! We have a family who loves us and we love you! Keep shining and we will, too!

Love,

Tom (and Lois)

Quiet Monday.

2005-11-14T14:28:00.000-06:00

We were supposed to have dinner with Sasha but didn't hear from her. She was in Dnipro all weekend teaching adults how to do Children's Ministry. It was a quiet day and I didn't really feel like going out - I am tired. Sooo - we pulled out Scrabble (Janis beat us big time) and then pulled out some of Janis and Randy's movies and watched a few (Rocketman and Cool Running). They were pretty cute and didn't take a lot of brain power to watch.

Then we listened to a Rob Bell sermon which was very interesting - in Ephesians about it being by grace we are saved and not by works and how if you miss the verse after that, you are missing the crescendo of the whole passage - WHY we are saved by grace. We are His workmanship - His artwork, per se, and we were created to do good works. To do MITZVAT - to do good things for other people. We get so caught up thinking we have to have the right words to convince people that they need Jesus and, here it says we were created to DO GOOD WORKS. It doesn't save us - but it is what we should be known for. Thanks to all of you who are praying and interceeding for us. Keep up the good work!

* For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

I have to talk about Shooba - (Shooba is Russian for fur coat but in this house, Shooba is a poodle). Shooba has been entertaining us to no end. She is a wonderfully fun distraction. Tom likes her enough to think someday he could have a dog like Shooba (and if you know Tom...it is highly unusual that he would want ANY animal, let alone a poodle). So - you know Shooba is an exceptional dog!

Kostya picked up our pictures around 2:30 so we know nothing is going to happen today. Maybe tomorrow night. We are playing the waiting game now.

We also heard from our former youth group interpreter Leana. She is back in Kiev and we will plan on meeting with her later. It is so great to get to see people that we thought we would never see again.

It is odd to be doing things like watching movies and playing Scrabble. It isn't what we would normally do if we were on vacation. It doesn't feel very productive. I wish we were getting to know our kids. I pray we are soon...until then we wait!

Church and old friends.

2005-11-13T13:10:00.000-06:00

We went to church (takes about an hour on the marshutka) and the lesson was on Ephesians 10:3-18 - the Full Armor of God. It was quite enjoyable (and it was interpreted in to English for us!). We had some time of fellowship and some tea and coffee and then we headed off to Sasha & Ira Bulatsev's house. They are the parents of our friend Kirill who lived with us for about 10 months back in 1995. It was great to see them and they had a surprise for us. When were here in 94, we were very close to a brother and sister Andre and Julia - Andre was 16 and Julia was 14. We found out yesterday for the other Julia that Andre married Toma (who was also in our youth group) but she didn't know where his sister Julia was. Well, we found her at Sasha and Ira's. I had forgotten that they were related. It was SO good to see them all. Julia is now 25. Wow.

We are getting to be real pro's at riding the Metro's now - just like old times. When we got back to the stop we are staying at, we decided to stop at McDonald's. Their menu is amusing - McEverything, of course. There is a flat bread here called lavosh - it is kind of like Boboli crust. Well they have McLavosh. And a few other menu items NOT normally found at McD's. Like fried cheese and big thick french fries. We hope to take our kids there before we leave as a bit of a common ground - McD's in Ukraine and McD's in the US. They even have Happy Meals (they are doing Chicken Little here, Art - what are they doing there?) Anyway, we took the placemat to bring home and I took some pictures, just because...that is what I DO!

Tomorrow Kostya takes our letter to the AC to beg for another appointment. Pray that the people at the AC grow a heart and decide they want to give us another chance and...a good referral while they are at it!

Saturday in Kiev.

2005-11-12T16:09:00.000-06:00

It's been a week - it feels like we have been here a month.

I know that hearing something worse than what you have been through shouldn't make you feel better, and I guess it doesn't really make me feel BETTER - but it does put a perspective on our experience.

There is a couple from the US here that has been here since some time in October. They had their referral and went to meet their two daughters. They started the proceedings and took a couple of weeks getting to know their new daughters - visiting them daily at the orphanage...everything was going along great. These people fell in love with their new children. And their new children fell in love with them. Can you imagine? How exciting.

Then their worst nightmare came true - the girls couldn't be adopted. For some reason, the paperwork was messed up and these girls were not available and wouldn't be for over a year or more. They had to leave the girls. The girls had to be abandoned. For the second time in their lives. How awful would that be?

As much as I felt like I was having my heart ripped from my chest, at least these boys didn't think they were coming home with us. They just thought we were people who talked weird and took pictures of their ow-ies. We weren't momma and daddy to them. We were just people. These girls thought they were going home. Talk about an ouch.

They were able to get an second appointment and they are now in Odessa proceeding with two boys - but it isn't like those girls will ever leave their hearts or their minds. Like I said - what a different game it is we are playing here. They certainly don't play by the rules.

Anyway, it didn't make me feel "better" - if anything, I hurt for all of them. But it made me thankful that I didn't get to know these boys and to love these boys. I will never forget them - but they WILL forget me. And for that, I am thankful. Very thankful.

Today we went to the Post Office, to visit a friend from 11 years ago and to do some grocery shopping in a SUPERMARKET - a REAL supermarket called Billa. I was amazed. Like I had never been in a supermarket - but this was in Ukraine! Of course the problem with loading your cart full of groceries here is that you have to get them home! So...after loading up on groceries, we stuffed it in to 5 canvas bags (Janis was prepared) and a plastic bag you have to pay for at the store. And then we begin the trek - out the door, down the walk, down the stairs, under the street, up the stairs, down through the Metro walkway, back up to the street and across the street and on to a Marshutka (which is a half van/half bus...Tom calls them marsupials). Then we ride for about 30 minutes, get off and run to another marshutka and get on it for about 5 minutes and then walk about 5 blocks to the flat. At least the elevator is working or it would be 10 flights up (and they have had times that the elevators did NOT work- but not since we have been here). It takes forever to do anything here - and you can see why. It takes not having a car to be thankful for the car you have - and I am THANKFUL for my car! I am thankful for Wal-Mart. I am thankful for America. And I am thankful for Billa, here in Ukraine.

We bought dinner at Billa and came home to prepare it - we had...Chicken Kiev. How funny is that? It was pretty good, too!

Janis printed off the picture of Dima and Vanya. Kostya wants to take them with him when he takes the begging letter on Monday. He thinks it may help the cause. It is hard to look at those pictures - but both of the boys have beautiful brown eyes. Heavy sigh.

I'm heading to bed. Church tomorrow - and it takes a marshutka and about an hour to get there. Night!

Another day.

2005-11-11T13:22:00.000-06:00

Well, eventually I went to bed last night. We both slept well. Vasya and Kostya called and said they would be over around 5 to write a request for another appointment to the Adoption Center. We had a late lunch and just hung around with Janice. I didn't have any desire to go out and about today.

I know this is silly, but everything is so different here - it is funny how you find odd things that comfort you. Here at Janis' house there are two things - her cooking (she cooks American - today we had Apple Strudel muffins for breakfast - mmmm) and...her shower. Her shower doesn't look American. It is a tub that would kill my mother to try to climb up in - it is about 4 foot tall. The faucet is about a foot and a half long and it goes in both the tub and the sink - it swings back and forth. This is normal Ukrainian stuff. She told us that she was having problems with the shower head before we came and she told Randy she didn't want to mess with it with us here - so they bought a new shower/faucet combo. Randy installed it before he left for Nepal. That shower is WONDERFUL. You get in there and close your eyes and - you are home. I TOLD you it was silly - but it is what it is! So - here I am in Kiev and I have a shower for my sanctuary! So, late lunch, long shower and waiting to talk to Kostya and Vasya.

They got here close to the planned time and told us what we had to do. I had to write another letter that they would write first and then Vasya would translate it and I would write it in English. Another letter - dread starts to well up in my throat. They took about 30 minutes to artfully compose this letter in Ukrainian - and they were speaking back and forth to each other. I was getting a tiny bit of what they were saying and I asked them - we are basically BEGGING for another chance, aren't we? Yes. Another family today asked for a second appointment and were given one - NEXT FEBRUARY. If you know me at all, you know I can not hide my emotions -AT ALL. I wear my emotions on my sleeve. Apparently Kostya saw that in my face and said "It will be alright Lois - it will be alright. I told you it would be hard and it is - this is hard work but it will be okay." Can I tell you - if THIS is the labor of my paper pregnancy - I want an epidural and I want it THREE DAYS AGO!

So, they finish the letter and they read it to me and in a nutshell, it says that we went to meet the boys on November 11th and that we were told by their doctor that they have a skin disease that is very serious and that it is permanent. We are not proceeding with the adoption because many children with this disease die before they are four. We are true believers in Christ and we do not have any children and we do not want to lose our adopted children to this disease. Please consider us for another appointment as soon as possible as we are ready to adopt two children ages 2 to 9. Sincerely, Us. Yeah - THEY wrote in the 'true believer' part. They know we are because we told them that from day one - we know God is in control and we were not planning on being picky or difficult. Of course that doesn't mean the AC is not going to be difficult. I think they are professionally difficult!

It is interesting - we have asked Kostya if he goes to church (Janis asked him) and he said "Not too often." But on many occasions, he told us to pray because we knew who was in control of all this. They are both such good guys - they are really pulling for us. Pray for them - they have a tough job and they live in a tough country. And, as I said before - they are really good people. So we ARE getting quite a list of specific people to pray for. Today when Kostya came in, he said he wasn't feeling too well - some sort of virus maybe. He had a hankerchief that he put up around his mouth. We joked with him that he looked like he was playing cowboys and Indians. He put out his hands like guns and laughed. He said "I do this just for you so that YOU do not get sick and you are giving me hard time!" Yup.

So we had the Ukrainian letter composed by Kostya, written by Vasya. Then we had the English one spoken to me that I wrote. Once again, I had to write out why we rejected and refused to adopt Vanya and Dima. And then beg for another chance to look at some more children. What an odd game this is we are playing.

The plan is that Kostya submits this on Monday morning and we wait. Kostya will check Monday evening and Tuesday evening and on until we find out if they give us another chance or if we come back next year. Pray that we get another appointment and that this one goes better - that we actually find some children to go to that we can adopt.

Until then, we have set up some appointments with friends here. Tomorrow we will see artist Julia (she painted all the little rocks in my office on top of my file cabinet). Sunday we will go see Marina - she will meet us at Kreshatik and take us to her flat. Marina was 11 when we were here. She is 22 now and works for a lawyer downtown. On Monday we will go to Sasha's house and have dinner with her. We don't want to make many plans past that as we don't know when and if we will be on the road again. We still want to do some touristy things (like go to the ancient cathedral that was being redone when we lived here). We will probably have plenty of time. Randy gets back from Nepal on Wednesday - it will be good to see him.

So - pray we get another appointment and that if we do - it goes well. The next few updates will probably be very less emotional (Ooh - I sound Ukrainian). I know I could handle a few days of less emotion!

Thanks - all of you for your prayers and comments. We really appreciate it. We love you all - thanks for walking this road with us.

Ouch.

2005-11-10T13:07:00.000-06:00

It has been literally foggy here for the last three days. And it has been foggy figuratively, too. I feel like I can't even exhale without crying. No, it isn't a feeling - t is reality. My eyes leak...a lot. I am completely consumed with a feeling that I can't categorize.

Last night before our visit I sat awake and thought, no basketball, no walking to school. Maybe not even school. If the sores look bad, people will think they are contagious - they will not want to be around them. The rest of our lives. Could I do it? Is that what God wants? I listened to Rob Bell sermon and he had a guest speaker from South Africa talking about his adopted son who is now cured of AIDS. What does this mean to me? Is this supposed to help me make a decision? I know God can heal. I know God can do anything He wants to do. But it doesn't mean He will.

We went to see the boys. Vanya and Dima. Before we saw them, we went through a lot of waiting and red tape. It turns out that these boys are in a "special" orphanage (read...not a good sign). Vasya didn't know that - the name doesn't indicate it. It is an orphanage for very sick children. I SO wanted them to be misdiagnosed. EB is an incredibly rare disease. Maybe they were just wrong. We picked up people who were from the ministry of health (again - not a good sign, it means that this orphanage is not even under the same rules as the other ones).

We eventually got to the orphanage and went in to the director who was a very well dressed man who complemented us for this great deed we were doing to consider these children (what have we gotten in to?). We asked all the questions we had prepared. He answered all of them with answers that continued to lead down the path of EB. He said he had taken the boys to a leading skin specialist in Kiev and that she diagnosed the EB. Apparently, when Vanya was first born, the hospital where his mother gave birth CLOSED the hospital because they thought they had given this baby some sort of infection. It was closed for three months while they tried to figure out what the problem was with Vanya. They couldn't figure it out. Neither of the parents have anything. When Dima was born with the same thing, the mother gave them both up.

We asked about the location of the sores and if we could take pictures. (We eventually did). He brought in their doctor. We asked her about the supposed "wonder spray" that had worked on them and the director brought it in. It was Banana Boat Aloe Vera with lidocaine. Not even a medicine. The told us it made it lessen and the boys were living the high life while they had it. It made the sores go away quicker. But it did not get rid of them. They said the boys are not on any pain medication, so I would guess that the tiny bit of lidocaine relieved some of their pain. The doctor said it DID hurt them. And, did we want to see the boys? Gulp. Yes, of course.

So here we were, 5 of us in an office smaller than mine at the church. And then the doctor, too. Then two of the caretakers brought in the two boys. So now there are 10 of us in this tiny office. The boys are bundled up from head to toe but Dima has blisters on his lips and in his mouth (not a good sign). We ask more questions. Dima is tiny (stunted growth...yet another bad sign) and does not walk yet (he is a little over 2). He does not speak either (he points and grunts). It is obvious that both are very alert and intelligent. Vanya is thoroughly enjoying candy from the director's desk. Eventually, they move to the outer office and the doctor asks if we would like to see Vanya's body. He cries in pain as they take off his clothes and reveal huge blisters on his back. You could see redness all around his neck. Blisters on his head, neck, back, feet and legs. Tom was able to see that most of his fingernails were gone (bad sign). And to make matters worse, they told us that Dima was much worse than Vanya. That would be true when you see the sores on his mouth. 85% of infants with it bad, die before 2. I am surprised that Dima made it passed 2. I do believe the Ukrainian doctor diagnosed it correctly. And here we are with two adorable, intelligent, blistered, always and forever genetically messed-up boys.

What are we supposed to feel? I can tell you what we DID feel. Pity. But neither of us felt like these were our boys. But that didn't leave us feeling okay. Part of me feels like I SHOULD be able to take these boys and love them no matter what. But then I think - if they were BORN to me - if I was dealt this hand, then I could do it - but do I WANT to pick up a losing hand? I had a dream before I came about having to bury one of my children and it was more of a nightmare. I don't want to HAVE to bury a child. I don't want to sign up for pain. I don't WANT to be stretched that way!

So we left. I think our interpreter was feeling almost as bad as us. Shell-shocked I think. We had a three hour wait until the head of the department there was back. So we walked around town, went to the Lesya Ukrainka museum (Ukrainian poetess that we actually knew who she was) and went to the Orthodox church and took some pictures. We had lunch as I sat there feeling complete emptiness. God didn't whisper or yell. We just knew. And it made me disgusted that I couldn't handle it - or WOULDN'T handle it. But - we both knew. I couldn't even imagine trying to get those tiny damaged bodies back to the US. I couldn't even go forward with the thoughts. It just wasn't in my head. My heart hurt for them - I wanted to send over cases of aloe vera to them, but I didn't want to bring them home. And even that makes me feel rotten.

Eventually, some of the right people were there. We went in to a dark hall, a light room and in to another dark room that was ice cold (which seems fitting). We sat and waited and eventually were brought a paper to sign - but first, I had to translate it to English with Vasya's help. So - I had to write out why we were refusing to adopt these two boys. Why we were rejecting them. I had to write that we were unable to provide for them physically or medically - they were too seriously ill. It caught in my throat as I wrote it and I lost it. Rejected. Refused. Ouch.

I don't know why we had to go through that. Any of it. Perhaps it is so we can add two more boys to our growing list of Ukrainian boys we specifically pray for (we already pray for Misha and Alosha - two boys we wanted to adopt 4 years ago but for various reasons were unable to...but we never MET Misha and Alosha). So all of you, add Vanya and Dima to your prayer list. Pray for healing, for God's will - for a family stronger than we are to adopt them. And pray for us. I know you are - we can feel it. We couldn't have made it through that valley without you.

Not all of the right people were there - so not all of our paperwork was signed (they love paperwork and official seals here). Now we wait and we hope. The earliest we can request another appointment at the AC is Monday - and that is just a request. It can take up to 10 days to get an answer as to whether or not an appointment is granted. Our paper work is still in Zhitomir until Saturday. Monday Kostya will request the appointment and then we wait once again. I hope we can spend the next few days just being tourists and trying to categorize what we just went through in to something that makes some sense. It MAY be one of those things we just don't get on this side of heaven. I am not angry at God. I don't understand, but He never asked me to understand, just to believe that He knows what is best. And - I do.

Our spirits are bruised - but not broken. We are back at Janis's (and it feels like as close as we can get to being home). It is good to have friends on both sides of the earth covering you in prayer and loving you. Thank you.

We love you - Keep praying.

What a day.

2005-11-08T12:44:00.000-06:00

I want to blog about all the things we have seen and start with the positive before I blow you all out of the water with the bad.

Last night we met with Sasha, our interpreter from 11 years ago - it was great to see her and hear about what her life has been like. We went to Vesuvio's for pizza AGAIN and it was great AGAIN! We talked to Sasha about all the changes in Kiev (both good and bad) and we asked her if we were paranoid or if people were staring at us - she told us "No, people are probably staring - it is obvious you are American..." and we said WHY? She said "It is two things, your smiles and your eyes...you smile all the time and we don't. And your eyes - you are always looking with interest at everything. We know what is here and we don't look - we just look ahead and walk on...you look everything over." Hmmm. I guess we are easy to spot. But I don't see changing that anytime soon!

Now on the appointment. We had our appointment today at 11:00. You walk up 4 flights of stairs and then stand in tiny room panting for air. There are two doors (one on each side) and people go in and out and in and out. We were told to wait and when Vasya gave us the signal, follow quickly behind him. We waited for about an hour and then we went to the last room and sat with an attractive lady who asked us where we worked and what we wanted. Then the books came out. Six books full of pictures. We went through the books quickly and Vasya pulled out several that fit the age requirement - he said we would look at the health later. After about 5 books, he told me to start looking through the pile we had pulled out (which was about 7 sets of kids). I went through those and narrowed it down to about 4 sets. She took those 4 and systematically said something was wrong with each of them (grandma objected to adoption, had older siblings, siblings objected, etc.) and then we had a pile of nothing. Deep breath. Gloom. Impending doom...

She hands us two boys that another couple said they are not interested in - I don't know if they went to see them or not. She said they have an all-over skin rash. It was congenital and incurable. The name was unfamiliar to our interpreter (and of course, to us). A skin rash? How bad can that be? Well, three other couples had seen them and decided not to get them...but maybe they didn't want imperfect children. I was thinking exzema or something like that. They were a possibility and young - 2 and 3.

We decided to look at the single children. The older ones were OLDER - like 10 to 12 (although they were in the 5 to 8 book). So we looked at the younger book. They all had something seriously wrong. Like HIV or CP or Down's. Very hard book to look at. Very sad. More depressing gloom.

And then...it was time for them to go to lunch. So we went with the two rash boys. How bad could it be? Well, turns out it could be AWFUL. The term we were given is BULYOZNYI EPIDERMOLID - and what we went with (and were correct as Vasya eventually was able to translate it to Latin) was Epidermolysis Bullosa. Yeah. It's very rare...but Chel and Ki and Tom and I have seen a movie on it about the boy who lost his skin.

Did you hear the wind leave my lungs in a gasp? Did you hear my heart drop to the ground? Well it has. Do we know for sure that is what they have? No - but it IS what they have been diagnosed with. It can be mild and it can be lethal. Some things make it sound like that is what it is for sure and some things make it sound like it isn't. The head of the orphanage says that they are developing normally and they play normally and that all they have is this rash. EB causes VERY sensitive skin and it is unlikely that they could play normally with EB. But both have it and have since birth and EB is hereditary. They said it responded well to a cream sent from America once but when the cream ran out, the rash came back. EB doesn't respond to cream. So we don't know. We WILL go tomorrow and we will see. We are emotionally rung out before we even get started.

So, there you have it. Oh, no wait - there is more...after we left, Kostya said that he talked to another interpreter there with another American couple. They didn't take a referral the first appointment and were back for their second. They were not given a second appointment but were given an invitation to come back in 2006. Ouch.

So NOW there you have it. This may be our only chance. PLEASE PRAY FOR US. We need a whole lot of wisdom and discernment. Although I would love to have the heart to mother two children with a disease like this - I don't know if I have it in me. I just don't know. Not something I would sign up for in advance. On the other hand, maybe the diagnosis is wrong. On the other hand, maybe it isn't. I can tell you that I do not like being in this position. THIS HURTS BIG TIME.

Pray, pray, pray. Thank you Bradley and Chel for the help so far. We will update when we know what to update.

Tom and Lois

Leaving the familiar...

2005-11-06T06:59:00.000-06:00

We are on our way downtown and away from computer access. We will try to get online somewhere - but don't know how or when. We will for sure update on Tuesday - even if we have to come back out here to do it! We are on our own now...SCARY!

a night and a day of sleep...

2005-11-05T15:47:00.000-06:00

Well, we went to bed last night at 11 p.m. and got up today around 1 p.m. Nothing like 14 hours of sleep to clear the head! We went downtown and to a children's Ministry Expo and saw our Sasha friend - she was our interpreter when we lived here 11 years ago. We will see her again tomorrow - we saw her just briefly. We bought some coloring books for our new kids and then we went downtown to Kreshatik and OH MY how is has changed. We went to the underground mall and it felt like we were walking in to Watertower Place in Chicago. We went to a Hallmark store which is very tiny but still - HALLMARK in KIEV!?! Everything is so commercialized. All this beautiful, old architecture -COVERED in neon and advertisements. It just looks so different. Not bad - just different. And so many people in short, short skirts and tall, tall spiked heels. Can't imagine riding the Metro in them but they do. Everything seems to be moving very quickly - and that was from the second we got off the plane. As a matter of fact, our VIP service people were rushing us here and there and as a result, we didn't get a piece of paper back that we were supposed to (something to do with immigration). We have talked to them and they SAY it is nothing to worry about (we HAVE the customs thing - that is apparently the important thing). We shall see - but I WANT to just scream SLOW DOWN PEOPLE!!! But I won't. It seems to me that people STARE at us more this time around. Maybe I am just paranoid. And as much as I used to understand (or at least have a clue) I don't understand at ALL now. We are definitely strangers in a strange land. But - it is also so good to be back here. I love this country.

Heavy sigh. Tuesday will come so quickly. Please pray for us that is will go smoothly and that we will find our babies quickly. It will be SO emotional. It already is - who am I kidding!!

We went downtown to Vesuvio's for dinner - we are really adjusting to the cuisine quite quickly!

Tom and Lois

We're HERE!

2005-11-04T11:02:00.000-06:00

And we are exhausted but we are trying to stay up a few more hours so that we are on their schedule. The flights were uneventful and extremely crowded and the planes were OLD. We sat in the middle two seats of the four seat row in the middle of the 747 and we were in the row that butts up against the back of the bathrooms - so we had ZERO leg room. I couldn't sleep. Tom didn't sleep much. We got to AMSTERDAM and had a little lunch (I think it was breakfast time). The airport, of course, was filled with shops that sold wooden shoes and fake tulips. And herring and eel. And Cows on Parade figurines (for those who don't know - that was an art exhibit that was done in Chicago and Kansas City, etc). It was funny to see trinkets from the US in Amsterdam.

We decided to go to our gate and it was forever away. Gate 57. Nothing was open so you had to sit on the floor and - I did. The exhaustion was kicking in big time. I fell asleep and Tom woke me to tell me there was a gate change. So we pick up all our stuff and shlepped down to Gate 49. It was open so we went in and had a seat...and fell asleep. About 30 minutes later, they announced a gate change...to Gate 57. We did the walk again and they finally opened the door there and we sat down and...we slept. I woke up and realized that there were very few people around us...because everyone had already BOARDED! We weren't the last, but there were only about 4 people behind us! We got on the very crowded flight and...fell asleep. About 20 minutes before landing, I decided I had to go to the bathroom...and it took about 15 minutes to walk the aisle and wait for the stewardesses to let us pass them as they were hocking their souvenirs. We got back, sat down, strapped in and landed. Everything went according to planned (although our VIP escort wasn't there the minute we got off the plane). Went through customs in about 10 minutes, got our luggage and found our facilitator and translator (Kostya and Vasya).

Kiev has grown SO much. Houses built close to the airport look like major subdivision houses (not normal for here). TONS of new buildings. It's cold but not frozen yet.

We got to Randy and Janis's house (Randy just left for Nepal) and Janis had dinner cooking that smelled delicious. We had baked potatoes, BBQed chicken wings and broccoli salad...sounds pretty American, huh! Now I am sitting here blithering...because what I want is...SLEEEEEEP!

We are here, we are safe and, after a long night of sleep, LET THE ADVENTURE BEGINS!!!!

And we're OFF!

2005-11-03T01:29:00.001-06:00

We leave in approximately 14 hours. Am I packed yet? Noooooooo. Haven't even started. I have stuff all over the place and Tom and I keep saying, man, we should have had that done...but WE DON'T. Our hearts are ready...our home is...a mess. But we will have it almost there and good friends and family will get it the rest of the way there. And although I know the kids will be WAY over-stimulated when they first get here... (it will most likely be 2 or 3 weeks before Christmas) well, their parents are massive collectors of stuff. I don't know if we will change. Our house will always be full. It is genetic for me (the parents are antique dealers...) and Tom has learned much of it so - our kids don't have a chance. They, too, will be collectors of much stuff. I THOUGHT about trying to get less stuff. The thing is, you can get rid of and get rid of - but when you have 10 times more than the average thrift store...well, it takes a dumpster or two to make a difference! We DO have less dust-bunnies now. And we DID finish our new bedroom. Well, I suppose I should pack this computer up and then pack my...clothes! Next stop, Kiev, Ukraine!

You FOUND us...

2005-10-25T01:00:00.000-05:00

Tom and Lois here...we leave on November 3rd for a loooong airplane ride to Ukraine where we plan on adopting our two children. We have been "in the process" of adopting for over 16 months - it has been one long paper pregnancy.

For those of you who don't know, we have NO idea what age or sex our children will be. Well...we have some idea - we know we won't be adopting teenagers! But they could be anywhere from 2 to 9 or 10 years old. We know we want two and we know that they will be siblings. Other than that, you're guess is as good as ours.

We have 2 girl names and 2 boy names already selected (yes, they will have their names officially changed). If we have girls, the first one will be named Anna Elizabeth (after Tom's late mother). If we have another girl, she will be named Madison Elise. If we get a boy, the first will be Tyler Jacob and the second will be Zachary (we don't have a middle name yet...it took us almost 6 months just to come up with a second name!)

The adoption process has been long, hard and expensive! We HOPE that we are getting to the fun part. We know it will be difficult to be parents. That isn't news for anyone who IS a parent. We know there will be tough times and times we will want to scream (again...pretty normal scenario for parents). We know our lives will change tremendously and we know that we are going to LOVE being a mom and dad to two wonderful kids. The first six months will be difficult (we have learned this through the adoption board we are on). Our kids will go through major changes (imagine being them and going from very little to the Land of Excess!) and WE will go through major changes (we have been married for 14 years - we are used to doing our own thing!) We also know beyond anything that we go through - we will rejoice in the gift of two little hearts to love. We will have our family. LET THE FUN BEGIN!

You won't find much updated on here until after November 4th (unless we go absolutely crazy packing and start blogging about it!) We will update as often as we can - there is no way of knowing what region in Ukraine we will be in and if they have internet abilities - but...we will update as often as possible!

Keep praying for us! We hope it is a smooth ride, but it will be a wild ride, regardless!

See you in December (or with some heavy prayers...perhaps late November!)

Tom and Lois