What a day.

I want to blog about all the things we have seen and start with the positive before I blow you all out of the water with the bad.

Last night we met with Sasha, our interpreter from 11 years ago - it was great to see her and hear about what her life has been like. We went to Vesuvio's for pizza AGAIN and it was great AGAIN! We talked to Sasha about all the changes in Kiev (both good and bad) and we asked her if we were paranoid or if people were staring at us - she told us "No, people are probably staring - it is obvious you are American..." and we said WHY? She said "It is two things, your smiles and your eyes...you smile all the time and we don't. And your eyes - you are always looking with interest at everything. We know what is here and we don't look - we just look ahead and walk on...you look everything over." Hmmm. I guess we are easy to spot. But I don't see changing that anytime soon!

Now on the appointment. We had our appointment today at 11:00. You walk up 4 flights of stairs and then stand in tiny room panting for air. There are two doors (one on each side) and people go in and out and in and out. We were told to wait and when Vasya gave us the signal, follow quickly behind him. We waited for about an hour and then we went to the last room and sat with an attractive lady who asked us where we worked and what we wanted. Then the books came out. Six books full of pictures. We went through the books quickly and Vasya pulled out several that fit the age requirement - he said we would look at the health later. After about 5 books, he told me to start looking through the pile we had pulled out (which was about 7 sets of kids). I went through those and narrowed it down to about 4 sets. She took those 4 and systematically said something was wrong with each of them (grandma objected to adoption, had older siblings, siblings objected, etc.) and then we had a pile of nothing. Deep breath. Gloom. Impending doom...

She hands us two boys that another couple said they are not interested in - I don't know if they went to see them or not. She said they have an all-over skin rash. It was congenital and incurable. The name was unfamiliar to our interpreter (and of course, to us). A skin rash? How bad can that be? Well, three other couples had seen them and decided not to get them...but maybe they didn't want imperfect children. I was thinking exzema or something like that. They were a possibility and young - 2 and 3.

We decided to look at the single children. The older ones were OLDER - like 10 to 12 (although they were in the 5 to 8 book). So we looked at the younger book. They all had something seriously wrong. Like HIV or CP or Down's. Very hard book to look at. Very sad. More depressing gloom.

And then...it was time for them to go to lunch. So we went with the two rash boys. How bad could it be? Well, turns out it could be AWFUL. The term we were given is BULYOZNYI EPIDERMOLID - and what we went with (and were correct as Vasya eventually was able to translate it to Latin) was Epidermolysis Bullosa. Yeah. It's very rare...but Chel and Ki and Tom and I have seen a movie on it about the boy who lost his skin.

Did you hear the wind leave my lungs in a gasp? Did you hear my heart drop to the ground? Well it has. Do we know for sure that is what they have? No - but it IS what they have been diagnosed with. It can be mild and it can be lethal. Some things make it sound like that is what it is for sure and some things make it sound like it isn't. The head of the orphanage says that they are developing normally and they play normally and that all they have is this rash. EB causes VERY sensitive skin and it is unlikely that they could play normally with EB. But both have it and have since birth and EB is hereditary. They said it responded well to a cream sent from America once but when the cream ran out, the rash came back. EB doesn't respond to cream. So we don't know. We WILL go tomorrow and we will see. We are emotionally rung out before we even get started.

So, there you have it. Oh, no wait - there is more...after we left, Kostya said that he talked to another interpreter there with another American couple. They didn't take a referral the first appointment and were back for their second. They were not given a second appointment but were given an invitation to come back in 2006. Ouch.

So NOW there you have it. This may be our only chance. PLEASE PRAY FOR US. We need a whole lot of wisdom and discernment. Although I would love to have the heart to mother two children with a disease like this - I don't know if I have it in me. I just don't know. Not something I would sign up for in advance. On the other hand, maybe the diagnosis is wrong. On the other hand, maybe it isn't. I can tell you that I do not like being in this position. THIS HURTS BIG TIME.

Pray, pray, pray. Thank you Bradley and Chel for the help so far. We will update when we know what to update.

Tom and Lois