Can I breathe yet???

Well, let me just say that the whole Adoption Center experience is...well, it makes your insides feel like old, dead, dried leaves spun together with dehydrated, overcooked spaghetti. You feel fragile, brittle and messed up. I woke up feeling sick to my stomach (and could tell it was nerves) and I got worse as we got closer to the AC. Tom, of course, felt as cool as a cucumber. He was feeling good about today from the second he awoke. Many humorous things happened today - comic relief, I guess!

Kostya picked us up at 9:45 for our 11:00 appointment. We were doing pretty good until Kostya let out a gasp and explained that he was very low on gas...then he added, "but NO problem, if I run out, I have someone to push, right Tom?" He was, of course, kidding! We made it to the gas station and handed Tom a wad of money and said, "Tom, tell him Izvaneetya, prezhalsta...blah,blah,blah, blah..."(something quite long and Ukrainian.) HA! I laughed out loud on that one - I said I THINK Tom can get the Izvaneetya prezhalsta (which is "excuse me please") and Tom looked at him laughing and took the money and hung it out the window until the man came over. Kostya did the talking!

We got the gas and got to the AC at 10:45. We walked up the 4 flights of stairs and I noticed something interesting today. The part of the AC we deal with is the top floor (who knows what the other floors are - ). The halls are dark and painted grey and are just kind of institutional looking. As you reach the last 2 flights of stairs, suddenly the color changes to a light green and there is light shining. Like a special effect in a movie or something. You kind of expect to hear angels singing "Ahhhhhhhhhhh" as you round the corner. Instead you round the corner and land on the top level with a bunch of other people waiting to get in and their interpreters. All of us looking a little whipped and beaten...and SCARED. Today was Italian day. There was at least 3 Italian families waiting to go in. We sized up the competition (that is what it feels like!) and Tom said he thought he could probably take the guys. (again, some comic relief because I was about ready to climb the walls and we were ON the top floor so I'd have to go out to the roof). At 11:00, they called the 10:30 appointment in. Uhhhh. Hmmmm. At about 11:45 they called us in to sit in what must be the famous "Scooby Doo" hall which we weren't in for long the first time. (Scooby Doo because of the way people go in and out of the doors like in the cartoon when they are chasing or being chased). It is unbelievable - the same 6 or 7 people constantly going in and out of 3 doors over and over again. WHAT are they doing??? We sat in that hallway for about half an hour. So it is now 12:15 and they take lunch at 1.

Of course the next hour flies by. I told Janis that I think those books are like trying on perfume. Once you try on 3 or 4 perfumes, everything smells the same and you can't tell one from the other. I mean imagine a double sided paper with about 6 official stamps, and 1 inch by 1 inch picture and the rest Ukrainian writing and you re supposed to look at it and say "YES!!! THIS is my forever child, I just KNOW it!!!" You have so little to go on. Their age. A tiny medical diagnosis. An outdated picture that you often can't tell boys from girls. And from this you're supposed to commit to go and see them and really, to adopt them. Because those second and third appointments are very hard to get! So, in a sense, you are making a final decision based on so very little...it just leaves me feeling...numb.

We had a different social worker (Oksana - and she was much more helpful). Kostya said that she has worked there a long time and knows what she is doing. Apparently, the first Razor Phone woman had worked there about 2 months. Kostya was able to stay this time and he seems to have a good repoir with Oksana. So, the four of us sat down and started looking. Oksana asked what we were looking for, we told her and she said in Ukrainian, "I can work with you."

She handed Kostya two pages and the rest of us started flipping through books. We did the same thing (but the book WAS a different one) and we pulled out things and had things returned to the books due to various reasons. We got closer to the HOUR of decision and were down to two different groups of boys. The original one she had pulled out and one Kostya had found in the Simferopal region book. The one set had the younger one with congenital heart problems (uhhhh, could you be a little more specific??) The other two had a mostly healthy diagnosis. They have minor problems that are correctable...except one has behavior problems. They are in two different orphanages because of that. I am now doing the imitation of the robot on Lost In Space "DANGER!DANGER, Will Robinson, DANGER!" Tom is cool with it. Oksana couldn't get ahold of the director so she tells us to come back at 3. Okay.

Lunch Time. I think Vasya thought a good Ukrainian cafeteria would be ideal - he told us "then you can see and choose what you want." Uh, yeah Vasya - if we KNEW what it was we were looking at! I had the chicken that looked like a fried egg and some salad that I THOUGHT looked like the stuff I had last week. I took a big bite and found that it was similar...except for the layer of fishy, fishy FISH on the bottom. I didn't finish it. Kostya asked me "Do the issues scare you?" Tom, no - me, YES. I think Tom would have loved it if I had turned to him and said, "I feel exactly like you do - peace." Instead, I was more like "Uh, if the "behavior" issues are bad enough to write down...uh..." So here we are, Mr. Serenity and Mrs. Skeptic. We sat there for a while and then returned to the AC and tried calling more people.

Okay, more comic relief. It snowed last night and people walked on it all day making a nice Kievan layer of ice (that women in spiked heels can walk in without problems). We walked back to the AC and Kostya and Vasya were about 3 yards in front of us. I was holding on to Tom and thinking man it is slick out here when WOOOOOOSH...AAAAUggghhh! I let out a scream and down I go. Vasya and Kostya didn't hear or see me and just continued to walk on...Tom picks me up off the ground, we wipe off and continue as if nothing has happened. I MEANT to do that. I know they woud have freaked out if they HAD seen, so it was kinda nice (AND LESS EMBARRASSING) that they didn't. I didn't get dirty or wet and I am not injured - it was just so funny to watch them continue to walk to the AC as if we were right behind them and I was splayed all over the sidewalk!!!

Vasya had to make about 9 calls to finally get somewhere - they tranferred the youngest one to a specialized school due to his behavioral problems for one year. But that school/orphanage said that he was at the top of his class (first grade) and had given them no problems. He was intelligent and bright and his behavior would be the responsibility of his new parents. He would fit in to any family very well. The other boy (2nd grade) was fine, friendly and gets along well with his brother. So then we had to decide - do we want to try to get brothers in different orphanages? It costs more and takes more time. Uhhh - YOU MUST DECIDE TOM AND LOIS.... Okay, at least Tom has peace so yes, we will go. We are going to Simferopal and a place 45 miles away to see the boys. We will probably see both boys on Thanksgiving - how cool is that?

So....it's A BOY. And another BOY! They are 8 and 9 and unless we get down there and there is something seriously wrong with them, I think we have our kids!

Pray for us all - we have a 14 hour trip to Simferopal (and we thought we were going to miss the drive to Pennsylvania for Thanksgiving! It's about the same distance!). We have two of everything to deal with - two orphanages, two directors, etc. It MAY be possible to get the other boy transferred back to the other region to complete the adoption...maybe. It is something we have to work out there. Pray for that. Pray that we "click" with them and they with us. Now starts the odd stuff - getting to know our new babies that are not BABIES. Pray that they will bond to us and they will want to be loved (it's a problem with orphans). Pray for safe travel (Vasya is driving us instead of taking the train and then trying to figure out how to get a taxi back and forth to the other orphanage). Pray that our money holds (two regions doubles the cost of paperwork and legal fees). Sheesh - I don't know. JUST pray!

Vissyo!